In a cursed reality, some people are born only to love, not to receive love.
"And I am one of them."
That day was very colorful, yet there was a shadow of sadness in my mind.
I had crossed the hall behind long ago.
Where the festive shehnai was playing that day.
There was a lot of joy and a lot of noise there.
The time was February, and February means a touch of spring in the air.
But that afternoon of February felt abnormally scorching to me.
That sunlit afternoon felt excessively cruel that day.
The sun in the sky was right above the head.
It was almost 1:45 in the afternoon.
While returning from school with a tired body, just near the corner of my house, my breathing became heavy.
It felt to me as if the world had stopped for a moment.
I saw a group of people walking from the opposite direction.
In the middle, a very familiar person of mine was walking slowly wearing a sherwani.
He was wearing a bright maroon sherwani, a pearl necklace on his neck, and royal shoes on his feet.
As if he were a king.
That man in the sherwani felt very unfamiliar to me that day.
His wedding had taken place the previous day, and that day was his reception.
He was ready in his sherwani to go to that fortunate woman.
I was passing by him, I saw him for a second or maybe a moment.
Did he look at me once? Maybe not.
He was perhaps immersed in dreams of his new life.
The sounds of laughter and conversations of his relatives beside him were reaching my ears,
But my entire world was fixed on that one person.
Everyone was laughing.
Only I knew that in that scorching afternoon, an icy death had occurred within me.
He was walking toward the colorful moment of his life.
And me?
I was returning to my grey room, where emptiness was waiting.
Both he and I were walking toward two opposite destinations.
I saw how destiny walks past a person.
The urge to look back was strong, but I suppressed that urge.
I did not stop anywhere, not for a moment did my steps falter.
I went straight to the door of my house.
The short path from the corner to my room felt like the longest path of my life.
But when I reached the gate of my house, I became like a skilled actress.
I changed myself in a moment.
Standing in front of the mirror, I wiped my tears and brought a faint smile to my lips.
Within a moment, I hid all my tears and became completely normal.
I went inside and laughed and talked with everyone as if nothing had happened.
No one could understand that inside me everything was shattered.
But when I was alone in my room, that restlessness started again.
My face felt empty, and a huge emptiness was working inside me.
That dam of tears broke again.
That night passed in sighs, restlessness, tears, and deep breaths.
I spent the whole night thinking about old memories.
On that scorching afternoon of cursed February, I understood—
Love does not mean completeness,
Love means the ability to stand in your own ruins and smile at someone else’s completeness.
Thus, my four years of one-sided love remained one-sided.
That day, I learned that a person can be buried even without a shroud.
The Final Page of a Diary — written under her name. ✍️
Some stories are never meant to be completed… they are only meant to be felt. 💔
#onesidedlove #heartbreak #unrequitedlove #diarypages
