Chapter 1 – The Time I Didn’t Want to See
I woke up gasping.
It wasn’t a normal wake-up. It felt abrupt, like I had been pulled out of something unfinished—like I had been running or falling and suddenly stopped. My breath came in uneven bursts, and for a few seconds, I just sat there, still, trying to understand where I was.
My room was wrapped in darkness. The early morning light hadn’t fully entered yet; it only brushed the edges of the curtains softly, as if it didn’t want to disturb the silence. The ceiling fan hummed its usual rhythm, but today it felt distant… hollow.
Lonelier.
I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to steady my breathing.
“Calm down… it’s just a dream, Charvi,” I whispered. “You’re fine.”
I tried to believe it.
But I couldn’t remember the dream itself. Only the feeling remained—uneasy, lingering, like something had slipped out of place and refused to return.
Slowly, I turned my head.
My phone lay beside my pillow, its screen still glowing faintly.
3:13 a.m.
My breath tightened again.
That time.
From the movie.
The one I watched yesterday… the one where everything shifted at that exact moment.
3:13.
That was when it happened.
That was when she… changed.
A chill traced its way down my spine.
“No…” I whispered, flipping the phone face down, as if that could erase the thought. “Don’t think about it.”
I closed my eyes again, hoping sleep would come back easily.
It didn’t.
Instead, my mind started replaying things I didn’t want to remember.
That one scene.
That one moment.
The way everything changed without warning.
I opened my eyes again quickly, almost irritated at myself.
“Why do I do this?” I muttered.
Yesterday, with full confidence and unnecessary excitement, I had made a bet with Yuvan—my classmate.
“I can watch it alone,” I told him.
He didn’t even pause before laughing. “You? Alone? You won’t last ten minutes.”
“I will,” I said immediately. “Watch me.”
And I did.
I watched the whole thing.
Alone.
In full josh.
And now… I was scared of my own room.
I pulled the blanket over my head, covering my face completely, as if that could shield me from my own thoughts.
“Nothing is there… nothing is there…” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Without realizing it, I started chanting God’s name under my breath. It felt childish… but I didn’t stop.
I kept my eyes tightly shut.
At night, everything feels louder. The silence feels heavier. Even your own thoughts stop feeling like your own.
For a moment, I felt certain that if I opened my eyes, something would be there.
Watching.
Waiting.
My mind didn’t help either.
It started imagining things—shapes, shadows, movements that weren’t really there. The corner of my room suddenly felt darker than usual, like it was hiding something.
I pulled the blanket tighter.
“Just sleep… just sleep…” I told myself, almost pleading this time.
I tried to focus on my breathing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Slowly, the fear softened… not completely, but enough.
Somewhere between fear and exhaustion, I drifted off again.
I don’t know how long I slept.
It didn’t feel like sleep.
More like I escaped my thoughts for a while.
“Charvi!”
Amma’s voice broke through everything.
“Wake up! It’s already five. We have to go to the temple.”
I slowly pulled the blanket down and blinked at the ceiling. For a moment, everything felt distant again.
Then slowly… it came back.
The dream.
The time.
The feeling.
“I’m getting up…” I replied, though I didn’t move immediately.
For a few seconds, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, as if I was checking whether the fear had really gone… or was just hiding somewhere inside me.
