Time to face the worst fear!
"Rika honey! I'm so happy that you are finally home...", my mom, Pia said hugging me, as soon as I entered the living room.
"I'm happy to be home too mom... Past two years were too tiring... Finally... No more studying!", I said exaggeratedly and sighed heavily.
"Oh baby girl... How I missed all your over exaggerations! ", she said, laughing.
"Mom... That was mean... Still, I missed you too... Thank God! I can spend more time with you here after... ", I said to her enthusiastically.
"Yeah.. Let's spend the little time we have together... After all, we have only a week left... ", she said cheerfully, with a glint in her eyes.
"What?! What do you mean by a week left?! Are you and dad going on another vacation next week?! ", I enquired her.
Lemme tell you something. My mom and dad are absolute romantics. They love each other to the core. So, their 3-months-once vacations don't surprise me or my elder brother Rakshath.
When I questioned her, I expected a very simple answer like 'Yes darling... We are going to France or Hawaii or someone like that'. But, the answer I heard was not the one I expected. Hell no... Never would I have expected it... Not the one that I desire to happen... Never in a million years I want it...
"No darling... You are going to undergo training under Adhvik for few months before you can take over the company... Your dad was ecstatic when Rahul promised that Dhvi will train you... Now, you will be getting the best training... You will be leaving next week and will be going to Chennai to train under him...", my mom replied, making my breath hitch.
Adhvik... That is the only thing I can think of... Nooo... I have to do something....
"Mom! I get that training is important before I take over the company... But why should I train under him?! Why can't Rahul uncle or Papa train me?! I mean, I can under go training in our own company... It will be more easy when I undertake...", I tried to reason out, desperate to get out of this situation.
"Dad can't train you himself in our company as he is under business tour... That leaves him the option to assign you to someone else and he is not satisfied with that... So he asked Rahul and they came up with the solution of Adhvik training you under his wing... After all, you both are best friends...", she said coolly and I had the urge to correct that 'are' to 'were'. Before I can reply, she pecked my cheeks and went to the kitchen after saying 'go freshen up'.
I walked plainly to my room and my bags were already there. I locked my door and sat on the edge of the bed and said that name which I had not uttered even once in this 6 years.
As soon as his name left my lips, the tears and the hurt which took me 3 long years to stop and forget once again made its way to me. My heart ached like hell and tears made it way making me end up as a crying mess. All those things that happened before 6 years, the things that I forced myself to forget, rushed back to my mind.
"Adhvik", I muttered to myself again.
Adhvik! A perfect name to a perfect guy with gorgeous blue-green eyes and dark brown-black hair. My relationship with Adhvik dates back to the day I was born. Our parents said that he got attached instantly to me when he came to see me in hospital. One year old Dhvi was too protective of me, a new born, that he didn't even let anyone other than our parents to come near me. Not even Rakshath, my brother or Adhvita, his twin. I think that bond was the one that kept me too close to Dhvi for as long as I know. But the other reason is that Rakshath and Vita were best friends and always hangs out together which pushed Dhvi and I to become best of friends. As years passed, Dhvi turned more protective and automatically he was my everything. My savior, my best friend, my protector, my everything to the 5 year old me. I always went to him for everything, be it bullying problems or just talking. He meant world to me and I had an indescribable attachment to him. But how can a little girl know that this attachment is what it's called 'love' ?
But as years passed, Dhvi started withdrawing himself from me. We stopped ganging out. But my feelings for him remained the same. If not, it increased by leaps. During those times, I and Adhvita grew closer. When I was 10, we had to shift to Delhi due to dad's work. But I didn't want to leave Dhvi and Vita. So I cried a lot refusing to go. But, my parents promised me that they will let me come back here.
I was 17 by that time. I'm no more confused about my feelings on Dhvi. I found the name to this feelings... LOVE , it is!! After all this years, I still love Dhvi so much that it hurts to picture my life without him. All those passing years were filled with Dhvi dreams. I pictured how Dhvi will look, how Dhvi will react when we meet each other and so on when my mom told me that I'm going to spend my winter holidays with Dhvi and his family. I was ecstatic about the news. But a thought kept wandering in my mind. What if Dhvi is committed to someone else?! After all, he is very handsome...
But I tried to convince myself about it. This time I'm not letting him go. So, I packed my clothes soon. But not before trying on them, to check if they would look good on me in front of Dhvi's eye. And before I know it, I was in Rahul uncle's home and Sanvi aunty was too happy to see me. Didn't I mention that they are my God parents. They love me too much as if I'm their own child. As soon as uncle left, interrupted by a call, Aunty called out for her children.
"Dhvi and Vita, come here... Someone came to visit you guys", aunty called out enthusiastically.
"Coming mom!", Vita and Dhvi called back with irritation. Soon, we are met with a boy and a girl, who are descending the stairs to approach us.
First I observed Vita, my best friend, who lead the way. To say that she is beautiful is an understatement. She looked like a goddess with her brown-black hair and blues eyes. I immediately felt self conscious of my normal self. It's not that I'm not beautiful. I look good but I don't have that magnetic appearance as like Vita.
Next, my eyes automatically turned to Dhvi. As soon as I saw him, my breath hitched. He is a perfection. His structured jaw , angled nose, fit body, dimple chin, messy hair and every other thing screamed perfection. He looked too hot, handsome, sexy and also charmingly boyish. He is too good looking than I imagined him to be in all these years. My imagination holds no good in front of this perfection. But I saw that his eyes color changed to lighter shade of blue from that blue-green. How is that possible?! My thoughts were interrupted by Vita's voice.
"Rika! Is that you?!", Vita said in a surprised tone to which the I smiled and nodded.
Both the us stepped forward towards each other and hugged each other. I realized how much I missed my best friend.
"I missed you so much Vita", I said hugging Vita. Vita is not only my best friend, but also a sister figure to me. We both were in contact even after I shifted. But it was lost after years. Though, our relationship didn't change a lot.
"Of course you missed your best friend...I missed you too girly...", Vita said with overwhelming joy.
Right then aunty said, "Don't worry sweetheart.. You got Rika all to yourself for this holidays.. She is staying with us for this winter. Right now, I'm heading towards the kitchen. I have chores to finish before this party". With that she moved off.
After that, Vita filled me with all the gossips and said me that I looked good and I replied the compliment. All this while, I wanted to talk to Dhvi so badly. He was standing beside us quietly. So, I turned to see him. Our gazes met and it made me extremely happy. His gaze held a emotion like love. Is it possible?? Nah, I should have mistook it... I can see that Dhvi is waiting for a chance to speak. So, I stepped forward to speak first.
"Hey Dhvi! How are you?!", I questioned shyly.
"I'm fine.. You?!", he said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
Let me tell you something. Even his voice is a perfection. I wondered how it will sound when it's husky or when he says my name. And I wanted to hug him tightly and tell him that I missed him so much. But unfortunately I can't. Anyways, he stepped forward and extended his hand for a handshake to which I responded shyly.
"Woah woah! What's happening here?! I can almost cut the tension over here with a knife... Stop this act you both... We all know that you guys missed each other pretty badly as you guys are best friends... So stop with this awkwardness already and hug each other like best friends do", said Vita with a playful smirk.
Vita is an angel for suggesting this...I owe that girl a big time...
Both Adhvik and I smiled awkwardly and stepped forward to give each other a hug. I wrapped my hands around his torso and leaned in, pressing my cheeks to his chest. This is what I wanted to do for a long time. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulders and whispered " I missed you so much" in my ears. I felt a shiver course through my spine. This is exactly what I wanted to hear from Dhvi and his breath fanning my ears made me shiver involuntarily. I felt like home in his arms. So, I leaned more into his chest and said " I missed you too".
We both stood in the same position, with me in his arms protectively, for few minutes until Vita cleared her throat. The sound brought us back to from our heaven.
He let go of me and I withdrew unwillingly, feeling lonely from the second I left his embrace. From Dhvi's expression, I knew that he don't wanna let me go too. This made me jump up and down in joy. Maybe he likes me too... Do I have a chance? This time, I'm not going back without knowing the answer... I'll confess my love to him soon.
After stepping backwards, he gave Vita a stern look as if telling don't-you-dare-open-your-mouth-about-it-and-comment to which she just smiled and shrugged. By then, his friends came into the room and he introduced me. By their expression and knowing looks, it seemed like they knew me. Maybe Dhvi told them about me... Does this means, he likes me too?! Or just told them that he had a friend called Rika??
Strangely they were polite and brotherly to me. No one made a move on him. Good natured kids!
Then, Vita introduced me to her friends. There is this one girl, Haritha, who eyed me distastefully. When we were introduced to each other, she stepped forward to hug me and whispered "don't ever think of Adhvik... He is mine". What she said made my blood boil, yet i decided to ignore it. She may be just jealous. But I can't completely ignore that. She might be his girlfriend too.. Who knows? This thought made my heart ache so badly. So, I decided to confirm my doubts with Vita.
When Vita took me to my room, I asked her if she or Dhvi is in relationship. Her reply shocked me. If you think it is 'yes, Dhvi has a girlfriend' , then you are utterly mistaken. Her reply was "no.. And if Haritha said you anything, it's absolutely wrong. Dhvi had never given up your spot to anyone yet... " and with a wink, she left. Had never given my spot to anyone?! What does that mean?! My spot as best friend?!
With confusion, I settled in my room to get ready for the party. Since it is a formal party, I decided to go on with a stunning in a black one-shoulder, knee length dress. I wore red pumps to match it and I let my hair to flow over her shoulders in its natural waves. As usual, I had no makeup on, but then decided to go on with little Kajal and lip gloss. Finally, I checked on myself to see if I look good enough for Dhvi.
After some time, Vita knocked on my door. I opened it see Vita, wearing a red off shoulder dress which reached till her knees. She looked gorgeous as usual. And it made me self conscious as usual. We complimented each other and decided to head downstairs with her friends following us. Haritha kept throwing daggers at me. As soon we were in the stairs, my eyes met with Adhvik's who looked extremely H.O.T and sexy, standing at the foot of the stairs.
He was dressed in a blue jeans, white V neck polo T-shirt and a black blazer over it. He matched his attire with a black Nike shoes. His attire brought out his light blue eyes well. I can't help swooning over him. He looked absolutely perfect and handsome.
After we came down, Dhvi came over to me, out of the blue and said, "you look absolutely stunning", which made me blush. I can't help but question if it's all a dream. This is what I dreamt with Dhvi. Him, looking at like I'm the most beautiful girl and I mean the world to him. Him, saying that I'm beautiful. These are the things I dreamt of exactly. And it's happening now. At the back of my mind, a voice told me to respond to Dhvi, who was waiting for it and brought me out of my thought marathon. So, I responded with "You look handsome yourself".
Our nice little exchange is cut short by Adhvita who said, "oh! Thank you for asking about me brother....", sarcastically yet playfully to Dhvi.
"Yeah yeah.. Whatever", he replied her and left the place.
He joined his friends and soon the party was in full swing. Adhvik and I exchanged few glances often and smiled at each other.
But my happiness was cut short by the one and only, annoying Haritha. She approached me and scowled at me.
"If you think that Adhvik has the hots for you, then you are truly mistaken... He just said that out of courtesy. Why would anyone so hot as Adhvik need you?! I'm telling you this again... Adhvik is mine.... He may not be mine now , but I'll make him mine, you Bitch... And put this into that thick head of yours... Adhvik is a player and he will never ever like you... You are just another girl for him.." , she said and went off.
Even though I don't know if her words were true, it shook me. Adhvik is too good looking, like an Abercrombie model. And here I'm, looking plain in front of him. Why will be like me?
It is better it I tell him about my feelings... I might get my chance with him...A chance to find happiness... A chance to be with my love... A chance to be together forever...
After the party is over, everyone were assigned rooms to sleep. I tried to sleep, but I can't. The things that Haritha said kept circulating on my mind. So, I decided to drink a glass of water to cool my nerves. When I went closer to the kitchen, I heard voices which I identified to be Ashiq's , one of Dhvi's friends.
"Man... Why didn't you dance with any girl or make out during the party?!", Ashiq asked to someone.
"That's because I don't want to", I heard Dhvi's voice replying coolly.
Why didn't he wanna dance?! And what the heck does he mean by making out in a party?!
"Oh, really?! I think it's 'cause you didn't get any girl and no girl is interested in you anymore...", someone else said mockingly tone.
"Ah!! Keep dreaming... I can get any girl I want with in a fraction of seconds. All I need to do is just smile at them, hug them and kiss them... They will fall at my feet...", he said smugly which broke my heart.
If I tell you that my heart is not shattered, then it's a very big lie. My heart is broken into pieces and I felt a pang in my heart as if someone stabbed me there. Tears started making its way, wetting my cheeks. I can't stand there and listen to rest of their conversation. So, I rushed to my room.
I sat down in the bed and sobbed. But at the corner of my mind, I know that I'm over reacting. He might have said it as a playful thing. But I really can't help but feel hurt.
Oh god! Stop over reacting Rika... It's not even a big thing and you are already crying... What if it's some playful mocking?? Even if it's real, he can change for you anytime... Even when he hugged you, you felt... Wait, hugged??!!
I can get any girl I want with in a fraction of seconds. All I need to do is just smile at them, hug them and kiss them... Adhvik's words came back to me
He smiled at me and hugged me already! Does this means I'm some easy target of him?! No... Just stop over thinking.... You are his childhood friend... According to your theory, he should kiss you... But he didn't... Doesn't it means something?!
But then Haritha's words came back to my mind. Adhvik is a player and he will never ever like you... You are just another girl for him..
What if I'm just another girl for him?? What if he uses me and then dumps me?! After all he is a player and I'll be his plaything... No, I'm not another girl or a plaything... And I refuse to be... Besides he didn't even kiss me for me to assume.. We hugged because of Vita only... So its better if I leave it off.. Yeah... Leave the matter subside... And it's not like he was committed to me.. Anyone can change...
Just as I wiped my eyes, my room's door was knocked. Who will be here at this time in night?? With confusion in my mind, I opened the door to reveal the hero of the hour himself, Adhvik. My face must have registered shock.
"Why are you here?!", I asked him trying to be bold, but it came out coldly.
His eyes showed concern as soon as he took in my appearance and heard me speak, which made me relax and reassure that I'm not just another girl to him. But I'm a second, he proved me wrong.
He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips on mine. I can't deny the amazing feel. It made me forget everything for a moment. But soon, everything he said came back to me. All I need to do is just smile at them, hug them and kiss them...
If it's some other occasion, I would have felt my knees go weak and shiver passing down my spine as in many novels. After all, this is my first kiss. But here, I'm being used. He first smiled at me, hugged me and now kissing me as like he did with many other girls. Whatever Haritha said is true. After all, how can anyone so good looking as him love someone like me?! I'm just another plaything to him... But I won't let him succeed... I'll never ever leave my self esteem down... So, I did what is to be done. I pushed him away and slapped him hard which made my palm sting by the impact. I can't help but think of his pain. You stupid Rika! Stop your feelings for him... He doesn't deserve it.. My tears flowed freely and I saw his face register shock.
"How dare you?! You man whore! Whom do you think you are?! Do you think I will bend according to your wishes as like those other girls?? Get it in the thick mind of yours.. I'll never ever ever ever fall for a guy like you.. You are nothing but selfish who only cares about himself... Go fuck your slut.. Don't ever look at my face... ", she yelled with tears streaming down my cheeks and closed the door at his face.
After closing the door, my knees were already wobbling which made to slide to the ground, my back pressed against the door. This is my first kiss. My first kiss with Adhvik is always what I had dreamt of. But I never wanted it to be this tragic. I always wanted it to be between us, filled with love and care. But no! Fate had other plans for me. My first kiss is with a guy to whom I'm a plaything. I felt too betrayed. Now I know that love always hurts. Not everyone is lucky with love. Very few succeed and I'm not in that very few. So, I promised myself two things.
1) Never love a guy too much
2) Never ever see or think of Adhvik again.
Both of my promises is to keep me safe from all my pains. It was me who was hurt. He would not even care if I was there or not. Seeing him will only hurt me more and thought of not seeing him made me sob uncontrollably. But I can't have my heart broken further than this. I need to safe guard the remaining bits and pieces.
So, the very next day, I returned back home, giving urgency as reason. I can't bear to stay there further without my heart hurting like hell.
I came home and vowed myself to not pronounce his name again. Even when my parents talked about him, I gently moved out of the place before I cried my soul out.
My promise of not falling for anyone again was very easy to follow because my heart and mind was always filled with 'him'. But, I studied hard to redirect my concentration. I kept myself busy in other works. Even though I don't think of him ask the time, I can't deny that I still have feelings for him at the corner of my heart. You can't blame me! He is my first crush, my first love, my first kiss and my first everything... I can't think of other guys like the way I used to picture Adhvik. It felt so bad. But yet , now I'm in denial of my feelings and let's hope that I myself believe that I got over my heartache and over Adhvik.
Today, I'm 23, a graduate from Harvard, with a gold medal in master of business administration . Since Rakshath is a doctor and not interested in business, I have to take over my dad's company. It was always my dream too. And I returned back to India expecting this. But never in a million years I expected to meet Adhvik again. Let alone, train under him. FML !!
I know that at the age of 24, Adhvik is one of the richest CEOs of the world and among the top 3 eligible bachelors worldwide. But I forbid myself to look at his picture. I know that I'll breakdown once I see him. If you are asking me how the hell I knew this Information, then the credits go to my parents. "Adhvik this, Adhvik that... "
But now, I'm can't hide from him forever. I have to face my fear. But, this time, I'm not going to fall for his charm. He is not going to break me. I'm more stronger and braver now when compared to the 17 years old me.
It's time to face my fear! It's time to face Adhvik Rish...