The room was dark and quiet as usual as if long series of serial murders took there and I was its next victim, entering the dangerous area where my murderer was already waiting for me, with a shimmering sharp knife in his hands.
Stumbling slightly, I put my hands over switch and taking a deep breath, I pressed it firmly. Immediately, everything glowed, brightness reaching every corner of the room, it's light falling on each and every object of the room.
Modern devices and polished furniture lay sprawled on the floor just like the last time I visited, window glasses covered with grey-white curtains and black carpet showed all signs of luxurious odour one can get by visiting the office of the youngest surviving billionaire.
But I didn't come to drool over his wealth as there was nothing he owned which I didn't know of. Pleasant masculine cologne burst my senses and I was suddenly reminded of the reason I was there and now that I was thinking about it, I saw very well that the said reason wasn't anywhere to be found.
He wasn't here.
Why? Did he really think so low of me that he couldn't even face me after all that? Was our friendship always this vulnerable and pathetic, its threads dangling lose the whole time? Was I the only one who thought nothing could break our precious pious bond?
Did he regret touching me that much?
Kneeling down on the floor, I peeked under the table and sofa, banged my hands on the counter, knocked my fingers on the wall to make sure I didn't leave any place to find him.
But Emily, he wasn't a child anymore! Do you really think he would just hide under the table or sofa like a baby boy?!
But he did hide under the empty water tank the day he got in a fight with those boys who dared to call me a boring tomboy and bullied me. I clearly remember him hiding there to avoid his father who got a call from the school telling him that their son was becoming a thug, beating up those boys! We were fourteen then, oh sweet days they were!
My eyes searched for an imaginary water tank or anything he might have mistaken for the water tank to hide in! I heard a distinct shuffle on the corner of the room and a smile crawled up my lips instantly to see his reflection on the nearby glass.
Oh. So he's hiding in his library. Or more precisely, mine as of last year he gifted it to me as my birthday gift! As always, he couldn't fool me for long. Immediately, I rushed to the door and pulled the plate up, the alphabet keyboard popping in my view, to enter the password which I set for myself.
My password. The date of my first dance with Edward in my first prom when Lara wasn't his girlfriend
Indeed, I didn't get the chance to go with him in subsequent proms or parties 'cause Lara would always pester him to go with him which he would willingly comply to but still, first will always be first for me.
And I was glad I was his first dance as well. Though I couldn't say the same for his rest of the firsts which he gladly shared all with her.
The loud buzzer snapped me out of my thoughts and I realized I entered the wrong password. I tried again. Still wrong. Typed Again. Wrong for ten times now, going to all security mode.
I kicked the wall in frustration, slightly staggering back with the pain shooting through my covered toes.
How dare he! Really!
"EDWARD! How dare you! You changed my password? My password?! Wait! How did you even know about it? I thought I was very discrete about it?!"
"Edward? Are you under there?!"
I knocked on the wall, pressing my ears on the cold wall to listen to any movement he might make. But he made none of that.
I knocked loudly this time. "Edward, are you there or not? Tell me! At least tell me if you're okay or not?!"
Still no response, but I heard loud shuffle this time, heavy footsteps approaching my side and I assumed maybe he had also pressed his ears on the wall to listen to me.
But he said nothing though.
"Did you eat? Are you okay, Eddie? Have you eaten properly?! Hell, have you even slept at all?! Don't tell me you slept on this ugly looking couch, have you lost your mind staying out for this long when you can't eat anything except for homemade food?!"
I leaned further to hear him breathing from the other side of the wall and a wave of relief and happiness passed through my tired body.
"Eddie? Tell me you're okay? You are, right?! You didn't hit your head or something, did you? Don't tell me you broke your leg or face and are too embarrassed to show it to me! If that's the case, then I just want to tell you that besides breaking your leg and face twice again, I'll forgive you like yesterday!" I tried making mood lighter, trying to make him laugh or even respond but he was too adamant for a handsome man.
I was getting frustrated by each passing minute.
"Hey! Edward! Open the damn fucking door, you bloody son of cucumber right now, otherwise, I swear I'll really like really so much really that you won't be able to survive the reality, call the doorman right now to have my passcode changed right now! It's my last warning to you! Don't say I didn't warn you, mister?"
With each passing second of the minute of the hour of the day of the week of the month of the year, my basket was getting filled with his silent words of rejection by default which was hurting and drilling my weak heart much easily and painfully than any of the words of his first love!
I couldn't help but think that he was already regretting spending the perfect loving night of my life with him! It was as if he never cared enough to think how much I wanted him to do all that to me which he did anyway without even me asking him to do it.
Pressing my ears to the wall, I tried to listen to him again, anything related to him because of my heart and soul was dying to see him. It had been four days, zero four days for me. I wanted to touch him, check him if he was okay or not, if he ate or not, slept well or not but he didn't even care.
I slid down the wall slowly in desperation, leaning my back against the wall and closed my eyes. Heavy moisture pooled in my eyes, falling from the corner of my eyes and landing softly on the carpet. I wiped my nose from the back of my shirt, biting my lips to stifle a heavy sob to escape when my eyes fell on the big picture hanging proudly on the wall.
It was the photo of our first prom dance, where my mom tried to doll me up like a princess, and for the first time when I entered into the hall, the whole school gasped to see my absolute feminity on view. Like any school girl in love, I waited for Edward to see me, imagining how he would compliment me like a prince, would hold my hand to pull me closer and we would dance all night.
Except for the whole night dancing part, Edward never even took a proper glance at me as if he had seen me wearing a prom dress a thousand times in his life. On the contrary, he offered me to wear something masculine and I remember we had a huge fight that night where he specifically told me he liked me more in my regular clothes than the ones which I was wearing.
And that day, I understood that he never saw me as a girl. Or as a woman. Maybe he was delusional. Maybe he didn't even know I was a girl all along.
But that night which we shared so passionately changed every wrong notion I had about him. He treated me like a girl, again making me think if he really always thought of me as a girl without caring to show me that every time.
"Eddie, is it... because of me? Is it... because of what we...did that night? Is it because....of our big mistake...you're not coming home?!" My lips trembled with sadness and tears as I asked him what I had been dreading to hear the answer of all the time!
Calling it a ‘mistake’ with my own lips made my heart shred to pieces, more moisture dripping from my eyes and wetting the carpet.
"If it's because of me then I want to tell you that the house I am living in doesn't actually belong to me. Lawfully, it does, but emotionally it doesn't. It's your house! Your home! So you can come home and do whatever you want." I shifted in my place, attempting to stand up. "But since it isn't mine, I'm leaving. I'll pack my bags right now and leave you to yourself. Then you won't need to feel uncomfortable and awkward with me anymore! I'm sorry!"
I paced slowly on the carpet, dragging my feet with utmost pain to have my friendship with him broken like this. Putting my hands on the doorknob, I turned it around.
"Lily! Wait! You can't! Never!"
Immediately, I rushed to his side, pressing my hands on the wall.
"Edward, are you okay? Alright? Tell me! Are you? Damn, open this fucking door right now, I want to see you so bad! Didn't you miss me? Not even a bit? You fucking-" I banged my legs on the door repeatedly.
"But I am seeing you already, Lily!"
"The cameras around the office are connected to my phone. I saw you coming in and sitting and all, on my phone and I couldn't help but resist the urge to see you face to face all this time!"
"Then open the damn door then, will you!?!" I kicked the door hard, almost breaking it to half.
"Why can't you, you stubborn mushroom of a muddy road sprawled lazily on the highway! Open the freaking door! I wanna talk to you!"
"I am not ready to talk yet-"
"Then grow some balls and prepare yourself!"
I tried my wild card, saved for emergencies, which I just found about, that it even exists just a minute ago!
"Then goodbye, I am leaving. Forever!"
"Tell me the password fast!"
"Password is the key to stop my indecent exist. Now, spill it out fast!"
"We can talk from here-"
"Give me the fucking password, Edward!"
He sighed loudly.
"Your name!" he yelled.
"What? You forgot my name in just... four days.. Wow-"
I heard him take a sharp intake of breath.
"Damn, Emily. Your name is my password!"
Oh... well, it was a big ‘oh’ for me…
I fumbled with the keyboard, typing it fast only to have it wrong every time I put it. I tried continuously, getting loud buzzer every time. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Did I forget even my own name? Really? Last time I remember, it was the first thing which my mom helped me to write on my copy on my first day to kindergarten.
I typed yet again. Went wrong again.
"Edward! Don't fucking play with me or my patience! I'm gonna bury you alive once I get inside, you official rotten potato!"
What did I even think? That he would really save my name as his password?!
"What? It's the one I typed it. I remember it clearly. I have-" he started to say in confusion.
"Yes yes, you have the long term memory for a man. I know. Now tell me the real password!"
"What did you type in the keyboard?
Is he joking?
"My name of course, like you told me, sir!" I mimicked that noodle name lady's way of calling him ‘Sirrrrr’.
"Tell me the exact letters, or words, will you!?
He was silent for so long time, I almost thought he ate a snake in breakfast and that creature decided to poison his stomach and mouth the exact time he was going to tell me his fucking password!
I typed Lara's name just in case he must have saved her name in his passcode but too lost in thought to remember it. It was wrong though.
"Oh my god Edward! You're locked, you're doomed for eternity. Oh dear, you're gonna turn old and ugly as a cat and die there all alone, your skeleton will be eaten by spiders and you aren't even fortunate-"
"Tell me the damn passcode, will you?!
"Well... It's... Your name!"
"I typed it already and it’s-"
"With my surname!" he hurriedly added in a high tone.
"Emi, my password is your name with my surname!"
I gawked at the wall for a minute, my cheeks flaming hot subconsciously, secretly liking the sound of my name with his surname before typing it proudly on the keyboard and the door clicked open with a low creak.
I smiled and pushed the wooden door open with full force, yet again having hyperventilation to face him again, my sweaty palms still gripping doorknob and my eyes widening a little to see him after a long time.