AFTER YOU COME THOU - 21 books and stories free download online pdf in English

AFTER YOU, COME THOU - 21

EPISODE XXI

“As you Argentinians like to say: the situation is about to reach the boiling point “.

Ability: talent needed to pursue a profession. Good credits earned after a successful professional relationship doctor-patient.

The content of The Loser Titan´s farewell letter caused a wave a puzzlement, and also nurtured a deep feeling of bewilderment on all of its addressees. Three of them, in fact, got so much concerned about the mental state of the quitter so as to call Isis to learn details about it.

Despite being exiled in two thousand thirteen, Balou maintained with Isis a bond beyond normal human understanding. Isis still served as Balou´s guardian angel. Mother of the sure-fire Winner Titan, she was a Yoga Coach that has been leading a soothing life, far detached from the cravings of matter and materiality. Beyond the scope of their good-natured relationship was the complete ignorance of Isis with regards to the mind-shift of Adolfo Sammartino, now turned to the realm of Balou. Taking into account the change of conduct of her ex-couple, Isis lived up to the expectations of her guardian angel function by ringing to Argentina to talk to Adolfo Sammartino´s younger brother.

- Good morning, gentleman, I am so sorry to bother you. I am calling because of the situation your brother is living through. It is really serious, Mister Juan Sammartino -Isis said discreetly.

That´s the way Isis proceeds: she stands in ceremony, and, at the same time with shyness, reticence and esoterism. Apart from taking recourse to words only found in Borges ‘erudite vocabulary.

- Yes, though we are poorly informed so are we aware that something is not working well in my brother´s mind. What happens to Adolfo exactly?

- He is a stranger to me since he got back from Argentina last December 28th. It has been a month of interaction with a version of him I had never known before. He is embraced by a foreign aura; he is not the man I came across to in 2009.

- We have to agree, Isis, that, from a benevolent standpoint, my brother is slightly mad, more than a bit if impartially speaking. Totally harmless as a matter of fact, as he won´t do evil to anyone.

Isis dismissed the sarcasm, typical of Argentine verbosity, and went on seriously.

- I want you to come to Colombia, Juan -Isis pleaded him directly, concealing her despair as much as she could-. I cannot handle him anymore, I don´t know what do. He is acting too hastily and I fear that something not too good might happen to him.

- So, we have a prickly problem to solve, have we? -Juan Sammartino started to worry.

- Correct, the matter is becoming too serious. As you Argentinians like to say: “The situation is about to reach the boiling point” -Isis parodied. You know, sometimes he walks out of the house in sport clothes and returns just late in the evening. Nobody knows what he might be doing in so long a time-period and, to make things worse, he took the bad habit of not carrying his mobile phone along. He might get hit by a car. An observer with a broad mind, however, would assure that your brother´s focus increased to the point of remaining always vigilant, in complete watchfulness. To his insolent stare, a persistent trait of him so to speak, superior energies have just added a degree of sharpness sufficient to frighten a starving lion. Putting in another words, his sharpness evolved into some kind of cat-like alertness. When I happen to find him at the pool and we start swimming together, I can realise -as he moves forward- that he has not lost his self-awareness; we still have time to proceed. The practise of sports is good for him as it quietens his mind which, in turn, appeases me because it means that he has not gone completely crazy yet. Note that Adolfo is far from being a good crawl swimmer, he normally propels forward like a ramshackle car, without a discernible style, but now he is not fighting against water any longer. Anyway, he is operating behind my back. I am sure of that. There has been a change inside him, I am afraid that he is now guided by obscure forces, or maybe bright ones, who knows the truth at last. I am in no condition to guess on his mental deviations, but I get affected when I watch him from the outside.

- ¿Are you really serious, Isis? Do you get affected?

- Yes, I get affected. I suffer.

Isis started crying.

- Oh no! “Birds of a feather flock together” applies in all its dimension to you both, Isis. This went over my head. Since you and my brother split-up four years ago, how can you suffer because of him?

- Alas! Juan, I can do nothing about your shallow understanding of the subtleness of my bond with your brother, but I haven´t actually called you up to explain it. You ought to come here to pick Adolfo up and put him under treatment somewhere. Psychiatry might help. My yoga proves to be of no use for so a serious mental disease.

- No way, Isis. I cannot travel to Colombia right now -Juan said snuffling. Let´s do something better: I send you money through Western Union for the consultation, then you find a psychiatrist, set an appointment and wait for the Doctor´s diagnose before we can move further, agreed? I am starting a meeting; I have to hung up.

“Argentinian abruptness is too much for me” -Isis never ceased to question about this idiosyncratic national trade-mark, even after nine years of interaction with Adolfo Sammartino.

“What a fool that I have been, it was a matter of time for the crisis of Adolfo to manifest -Isis reprimanded herself for her lack of foreseeability. When we touched the ground of Waterloo battle-camp on September 13th 2017, in Belgium, Adolfo wanted to kill his ex-boss, he was ready to jump on him, quick to pick up a fight; without my intervention Adolfo would have spoiled the rest of our trip altogether. Why didn´t I realise the seriousness of his mental crisis? Maybe because of our happiness, each of us had just finished our solo travel, we had met again in Paris to complete the itinerary together. I was full of joy after my visit to Antwerp, while he was exultant after his attendance to a writer´s retreat in Labastida d-Anjou, Carcassonne, in southern France. He was reinvigorated, I could feel his intense energy approaching when he picked me up at Orly Airport in Paris. His energy-level as usual. While I easily transcended the Waterloo incident, I overlooked how much affected Adolfo had been, to the extreme of being unable to talk about anything else in the following days. The more I think about it, the more certain I become: The incident of Waterloo had wrought havoc inside Adolfo. Something broke loose which, in turn, produced a big imbalance in his psyche. Perhaps Adolfo sensed my loving nights with Huidobro Escobedo in Antwerp and went wild because of them? Then that clandestine jealousy was transferred to his ex-boss through a burst of fury? It´s known that intuition can be activated or hyper develop after a sudden shift in conscience, if this is true it is no less true that, as Adolfo´s conscience had been altered in Belgium, the activation and/or hyper development of intuition could have been therefore set in motion.

Cali, Colombia, January 29th 2018

The clinic for harmonious human development named “Devenir”, located in downtown Cali, offers a variety of treatments and therapies such as: Ayurveda, Transpersonal Psychology, Zen, Yoga, Gestalt, Thai massages, intensive drugs prescription, encompassing admissions in psychiatric units only in critical cases. You may ring the bell, but only when the mournful receptionist shows up to open the door -all the process being executed in indescribable slow motion- you have a chance to come in Devenir. From the reception desk one can see the waiting room with seats spread all over the place, each of them separated from one another by small baskets full of health-related magazines, welfare and personal growth in lesser extent; at the rear appears the Rehab house crowded by Senior patients. People couldn´t bring themselves but to believe that they´ve walked into a lively place, as the well-crafted paraphernalia confounded the perception of patients. Despite the sensation of having entered a spa, newcomers may receive medication at checking out from the first appointment.

The psychiatrist Galvis Moscoso, aged fifty-two, is one of the founders of Devenir, one of its main shareholders and a serial editor of medical records. Apart from being a renowned psychiatrist, he pursued further studies and seminaries on Buddhism, attended meditations camps and was given sessions of Yoga Vipassana, all these to broaden his knowledge of human mind. To him, doctors should be allied with their patients, he was therefore reluctant to medicate at the drop of a hat, instead he preferred to make use of the range of therapies at hand in the Centre in order to find an access to the psyche of patients and thereupon diagnose and treat their pathologies from a holistic perspective. Isis begged for an urgent appointment the day before: “Adolfo Sammartino is very ill -she said to the Doctor in supplicant tears. Moscoso was then reminded of the Hippocratic oath he had made at the end of his career, so he swept his busy agenda until he spotted an opening for Balou and scheduled the appointment for next day at seven in the evening.

They arrived at Devenir ahead of time and sat in the waiting room. The receptionist called Galvis through the intercom and the latter turned up after ten minutes, displaying the doctoral smirk of he who believes to be freed from mental diseases.

- Come on in please, Mister…he checked his notepad and said: “Adolfo Sammartino”.

Balou could not conceal his smirk either, and he mumbled for himself: “This Doctor is dupe, he has no idea that the patient waiting for him is neither Adolfo Sammartino nor The Loser Titan”. I am sure that as soon as I start talking, he will look for advise in oracles, he will dig in his mental library expecting to find information on deliriums, psychotic episodes, schizophrenia, and upon recovering student´s remembrances he will decide to pick out some of them to label my case before making the diagnose. Poor lad, luck has assigned him a harsh task: Will Galvis Moscoso be competent enough to realise that no references of my case are ever to be found in research materials? Does he know that with a lineal mind he will fail to hit the nail on the head?

Like an obedient herd they rushed into Galvis´ office. It was Isis who spoke first. By her speech she led to believe that the decision to bring Adolfo was hers which, on the other hand, the Doctor knew from the beginning. However, according to the Doctor´s opinion the patient showed no signs of having been forced to come.

- Adolfo has been mad for a month more or less -said Isis. He gets no sleep, he lives euphoric, he has achieved an ecstatic permanent state. He got carried away by the river of insanity, Doctor. I have filmed his physical exploits and I assure you that they cannot be replicated even by youngsters of sixteen. What it happens to him is unknown to me, but I fear he suffers a psychological disarray which ended up in the corruption of his personality. He is in need of urgent professional assistance, that is the reason of our presence here. Perhaps the appropriate medication may bring him back to normal.

- Good, good… -said Galvis Moscoso, while drumming his fingers on the desk.

- Are you nervous, Miss Moscoso? -Balou attacked him swinging his gender. What´s wrong with you? Why are you trembling? -he asked bitterly. Do patients always make you so nervous? Were you taught Psychiatry actually? Or perhaps you didn´t learn how to handle your emotions before the patients? Shit, Isis, I was willing to receive professional assistance indeed, but this Doctor deserves no trust from me, his due diligence was, apparently, caught hold of Alzheimer.

Beside his mother and his step-father stood the sure-fire Winner Titan, trying not to roar with laughter but he eventually gave in.

- I am neither nervous nor trembling, that´s in your head -Galvis retorted getting a lump in his throat. I appreciate that you address to me in masculine. I am male.

- I am not well aware you are a man; I don´t know if you´ve got balls so far. Yes, she is, Miss Galvis Moscoso is nervous indeed, you cannot lie to me -Balou replied. You keep on drumming your fingers like a doll-up slut in wait for her high-standing customer, your legs shake like a weaver manoeuvring his Singer-pedal knitting machine. Isis told me you were over-skilled, gone through mediation and lots of courses and degrees just to give a well-educated appearance but, Oh God, you seemed to be given defective books or to have pursued your studies in Braille.

“Isis, Juan José, let us go. This guy can´t help me. I acknowledge that I became a stranger to myself due to what´s happening inside me, the point is that my state cannot be approached with an ordinary mindset, we all see Galvis Moscoso’s handsomeness, his garments and glamour and so on, but we also recognise his second-rate level of understanding. His medical mediocrity only allows the relieve of a cough, prescriptions of Litium for patients beyond hope. That´s the limit. What should I tell Galvis? Whatever I would tell him, he will be unable to grasp its meaning. The impoverishment of his comprehension skills is evident. The best we can do in an act of beneficence, is to invite him to read his curriculum vitae at Juan Valdez Café, as if it were a book from Ray Bradbury. Isis: Where did you send me to? Do you have money to pay the simpleton? I haven´t got any left.

Isis was struck dumb, she didn´t know what to do. Galvis flashed her a managerial wink and suddenly the drumming of his fingers vanished. He calmed down. He winked at her for a second time and then nodded, signal of the end of the appointment. There was no point in trying to drive the patient back to the asymptomatic stage, as the patient refuses to exit the pleasurable experience of dwelling in the edge. The explicitness of the psychiatrist’s body language coupled with the yoga-trained intuition of Isis, fostered a tacit understanding between them, so Isis took eighteen thousand Colombian pesos out of her wallet and paid for the consultation. Balou lamented silently: “money thrown in the trash”.

The writer stood up the first and motioned forward at steady pace, as he drew closer to where the Doctor was seated. Balou sharpened his eyes and indulged himself in a fierce glance bent upon the doctor´s sunken eyes, making the prestige of Galvis Moscoso to wobble dangerously. Immediately after, Balou shook the Doctor´s hands with unexpected kindness, then said to him:

- Galvis Moscoso, before you start playing to be a Doctor, and to have the nerve to evaluate psychosis, neurosis and all the stuff you claim to know something about, it´s better for you to appraise your capacities first, your emotions, to admit the limitations of your personality; the next step is to be honest with yourself as to whether your qualifications are those necessary to bring psychiatric assistance, as to question about your mental sanity and if you are in condition to restore the health of the population in general, and specifically of patients. I have always thought, better said I have always suspected, that psychologists and psychiatrists are crazier than their patients, and the underlying reasons for studying careers related to the human mind was to stuff themselves with readings of mental health in a bid to forget their own madness. It´s complete foolishness. Of course, we cannot neglect a minor attainment: they put their miseries aside. However, it´s a mental trick -like a mirage in the desert- to create a delusion of health and, thereby, be convinced by the title of psychiatrist hung on the walls of their offices that they are entitled to seat in front of patients and cure this or that. Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, do you know him? He always hesitated: should I do this or that? Soren Kierkegaard, the undeclared founder of existentialism in Philosophy. Poor bastards! -I mean the Danish and psychiatrics. The latter raise invoices for professional fees pretty unaware that it is them who are sick: instead of raising invoices to patients, psychiatrist should raise forgiveness to Hippocrates on grounds of hypocrisy. Has it ever been possible for an ill Doctor to cure someone? There is no record of that in mankind history. Up to now, dear Doctor, I´ve held the belief in these matters, but now I realise that I had sound suspicions. What I´ve just witnessed here at your office provided me the direct experience hence, it is not needful to appeal to beliefs or suspicions anymore: Needless to deny -not at least you, Moscoso, an expert in comparative religions- that a belief replaces the experience, whoever incapable to get the feeling of God inside, resolves to believe in His existence, the God of the Old Testament being the manager of a refugee’s camp, wherein He embodies the fear of life and death. In short, Doc, most of the theists supresses their doubts through their belief in God. But, since we are friends, Doc, well, truth be told: there is no way to eradicate doubts, only suppression is possible. Doubts remain there, bottled up in the understory of the subconscious, they may only fall away when one experience God, and that conscious experience exterminates the plagues, entrenched in the subconscious as doubts. So far, your brain could understand my statements. Why did I expand on this theological silliness? Because they served as analogies in order for you to make clear that by direct experience you proved not to be competent to treat my case, experiences cannot be refuted, only beliefs, concepts, reasonings, approaches can. So, you ought not to argue on what I am saying. Are you really so stupid to believe that by evoking the readings of your student time you would be in position to find a cure for me?

- Hey you, show respect! Do not overstep the mark -Galvis Mosoco said in a whisper.

- Me a cheeky monkey? Cut off and shut up. I am not done, Galvis Moscoso. I am grateful to you for the time spent with me and the opportunity you gave me to drive the plagues away my subconscious. To tell you the truth, I´ve had a wonderful time at your office. Honestly, I could be of more to you than you to me. Hand me your apron and I prove it. Seriously now guys, I appreciate the courtesy of your treatment attempt. Nothing is worse than doing nothing. It really turned out beautifully, now that I am about to leave and you know I won´t be your patient, the drumming of your fingers is gone. Funny, isn´t it? A few minutes ago, you were a fragmented fearful man, now you are at ease. You are relieved because of my depart. You should pay for my services rendered instead of the contrary. Isis and myself were taught to pour compassion and generosity over patients with a mental disease, in this sense we determined an outpatient treatment for you by throwing eighty thousand Colombian pesos into your pocket.

- Adolfo, please stop. Let´s go home -said Isis, feeling that Adolfo was trying her patience.

- Okey, okey. Get out of here. We´ve got nothing left to do here -Balou agreed with her.

Galvis Moscoso rolled up the cash and put it in the pocket. As the gangsters, he was fond of carrying the money in the front pockets of his jean. He didn´t know why, maybe he felt safe that way, maybe it was a licit hideout for ill-gotten money. Soon after the office door was shut, he called the receptionist (she does daily duties as a receptionist and, from time to time, she turned the doctor´s night lover) and asked her if the patients were gone already: “yes, honey, they are gone. So weird a gang, aren´t they? The raving lunatic Argentine with multicoloured clothes which were never supposed to be worn together, then his middle eastern wife covered with terrorist-like garment and lastly the lower level reggaeton grinding dancer, their tattooed son, all three they scare me to death. Thanks to heaven they have walked away”. The doctor acted a smirk: “You are right, Gaby, there is nothing as queer as folk, but these, they´ve crossed the line. Do I have any appointments left, dear? Otherwise, we shall go play sports in bed together”.