Safarnama - Its all over... books and stories free download online pdf in English

Safarnama - Its all over...

“So, is that it?”

“I don’t know what are you talking about, will you please explain?”

“I mean it’s all over right?”

 “Hmmm.... It’s all over.”

“But what was there in between us to over, nothing, right?”

“No....”

“No? Was there something? I don’t think so. I mean if there is something then it was from my side, you always had been against of it, right?”

“Yes, I was against of it and will always be.”

“Yeah I can understand. Then will you please tell me what is going to be over?”

“Actually, I don’t know what should be over. Only the thing I know is I cannot suffer it anymore.”

“What the hell are you suffering from?”

“I don’t know, and I’m not bounded to give you answer, okay.”

“Off course you’re not, but that’s my right to question you”

“And who gave you that right?”

“It was alright till yesterday, now what happened suddenly that you are being so annoying?”

“I’m not being annoying but you are making me irritating.”

“Yes, that the question I want to ask, what the hell happened to you, that you are being so harsh to me?”

“You are................”

“What you are.........? Complete it.”

“Just get lost.... I don’t want to see your face again.”

“What” a silence strewed there, she left, and reason was unknown. He was in shock. All the memories with her flashed in his mind, actually there were not in relationship, but in friendship. May be he was an ordinary friend for her. May be he was nothing greater than a passerby, but at the some short period of time or for a while she had felt something for him. It was clear that they both have no future together and they both were well known of this fact, but it was supposed to last their friendship long. In past few months, actually there were only couple of months passed after their first meeting. And in this duration she had helped him in so many things. Her guidance was not less than a mentor, though sometimes he not listened to her, but later, he always realised the she was right. There was something common in both of them which were the base of their friendship, but that mutual thing was no longer matter to her to break their friendship. 
Might be she was afraid of feeling in love with him, or she was not willing see him as Devdas or Radhe. But it was only the probability, what was actually annoying her was remain unrevealed truth. Every time he called her, he got one response that she is not willing to talk him anymore. But, ‘why?’ was the question that remained unanswered. 
He used to read their old conversations, watching videos, and photographs, and only thing that he used to conclude that what was his mistake either expressing his feelings to her or making her priority or thinking too much about her. 
It has been twelve days, since she had left him. It was so annoying so he called her again to apologise her and for what? For expressing his feelings to her? or for making her priority, or thinking too much about her? He called her and said all things were a big bluff........

“Hello, who’s this.......?” 

“hellooooo” and start laughing actually he acted to do so but failed, he found his acting as failure and started to talk normally. 

“Yeah you....”

“Yaar, what the hell is happening here, you took it seriously man, I thought it was a little quarrel between us that we used to fight like before but it took too much longer.”

“Say what you want to say” 

“Yaar that was all a big bluff, there was nothing to get serious about, and as I have told you before, that I will neither propose and nor will accept a proposal, then why did you took it all serious?”

“Oh C’mon, I’m not a little girl, I can understand you were serious.”

“No I was not, it was just a bluff, please talk to me?”

“I know all the ways, and I’m sure that at the end of the day you will again come to the point which on which I left.” 

“No trust me I won’t.”

“No! It is better to stay away and if you do not have any feelings then its okay to move on to forget that you have a friend like me.”

“That is the thing... I don’t want to lose a friend like you. I’m just laughing at myself that what the hell I have done with you that I should never have to done. Please forgive me.”

“Yes this is I want from you, forgot me.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“See, consider that we have never met before, not that conversation happened, and nothing happened in between us, so......”

“So we could start from new”

“No not new, so it becomes for you easy to forget me”

“No yaar I don’t want to forgot you, and see after some months may be I will leave the city, new peoples will come in contact with me and gradually our conversation get less and gradually everything will be alright. But that quietness in between us will never be there, whenever we will meet, off course, by chance at least I will get a smile from you. I don’t want this to end like the way it is going to be.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing, If everything is going to be end then why shouldn’t now, why you are making it more complicated?”

“No I mean the way it is happening it should be changed, many stories end; but it depends upon us, how we want to end this. If the things happens so suddenly, then it hurts the most but if the things happened gradually then it becomes easy to handle it. And the other thing is that we don’t actually forget the people, we just learn to live without them; that’s it.” 

“Whatever, I don’t want to talk to you; that’s it, and this is final, it is better for you to get carved in your mind, it is over!”

“Yeah again same question I’m asking to you, what is getting over, if there was nothing like that in between us, and if it is getting over then please let me know why?”

“.........................................” She hanged up the phone without answering to him. He called again, and again but only he came to heard was,

“Tring......Tring......Tring.........The number you have called is busy on another call, please try again after sometime.” might she was calling him. He waited for some time and called again and again the same thing he heard, 

“Tring......Tring......Tring.........The number you have called is busy on another call, please try again after sometime.” 

“Tring......Tring......Tring.........The number you have called is busy on another call, please try again after sometime.” 

“Tring......Tring......Tring.........The number you have called is busy on another call, please try again after sometime.” 

“Tring......Tring......Tring.........The number you have called is busy on another call, please try again after sometime.” 

“Blocked!!!” the words he uttered. 

His new number was blacklisted by her, again the question remain unanswered. He broke down on the floor. Everything merged into the silence, he was expecting at least the answers of his questions, either, it happened because he expressed his feelings, or making her priority, or thinking too much about her or making her friend. It was okay for him to get friend-zoned. But she did unexpected again the question was, ‘Why?’
He was on the floor when he was talking to himself, 

“You don’t have an idea about what I have felt that night when I saw a dream in which I saw you dying in front of me. I saw your soul getting up from your body. Trust me it was worst feeling in my whole life and you are saying that forget me! May be it was just a stupid dream for you but it was the thing that I never want to happen in real life at any cost. To see someone dying is really a hilarious thing in the world, and what if the person is kwon to us? This feeling cannot be expressed in the word.”

“I know you have not given the satisfactory answers of my question and you are not going to give me the answer of these questions but please let me know about this answers........
1. What do you felt about me when we met first time?
2. What was on your mind when we were in the bus?
3. Have you ever thought about me in past few months?
4. If you already knew about my feelings then why do you kept talking with me?
5. Was it planned to do all the things to me?
6. What would been the status of our friendship if I never expressed my feelings to you?
7. What would be your answers if you were at my place?
8. And last but not the least, Do you have feelings for me? Do you love me?”

“I know, my answers will always be remain unanswered, but still someday I will get all of my answers, either by you or by myself.”