You are my life - episode 32 in English Novel Episodes by Vizhi Malar books and stories PDF | You are my life - episode 32

You are my life - episode 32

"Now I am having answers
for all your questions....
but where have you gone?!"

Karthik lost in his thoughts sitting in the cafe by keeping both his hands clasped on the forehead supported at the elbow on the table. He indeed closed his eyes, by still contemplating himself why he did lose his temper on that day of their meeting. He didn't mean to hurt her, but just wanted to stop her nonsense talkings.

"You seem to learn a lot before getting married bro... in that process, the first and foremost thing will be forgetting your pride. Don't dare to raise your voice against your wife at any cost....see it became too critical now" jegan said sarcastically for which he got a warning stare from Gokul. Better keeping quiet then, he decided.

" Did you talk with her afterwards?! Gokul's voice etched in concern.

Karthik shook his head as ' No. It's not he doesn't think about that, but he needed time to pacify himself, he never wanted himself again losing temper over her ....he afraid of that, that's what refraining him from having further conversation with her. He let out a big sigh...

Once again jegan wanted to say something but kept quiet with that gokul's stare.

" Ok... we'll give sometime...to think about it what to do...." Gokul said looking at his frustrated friend who appeared lost that brought changes in his looks within these 2-3 days.

Karthik got up without eating anything and started leaving. Jegan started asking " bro... and stopped short when Gokul's hand pressed his arm.

***********

Are you mad?! How could you do this?! Are you having a stone heart or something?! You ruthless fellow... Ramya's conscience was yelling at her.....

Please don't, it's killing me already..." Ramya whispered herself. Ramya was not intended to do that, leaving behind him abruptly, it happened that some tension in the air between them and she used the situation to execute her decision. She couldn't leave him saying tata bye bye to him, he won't let her go definitely... so she acted like she was furious against him and got away abruptly when Karthik lost his temper.

She knew it's difficult to persuade him, for once she wanted to try, she knew she can't win over him, so she already took the decision of parting even before the meeting.

But after she found out the truth, she's totally moved how come it's possible to resist a person like him?!!! He is so perfect and it's utter stupidity and madness saying ' no' to him. Then comes her own reasons for her refusal, for an extraordinary man like him, his girl must be perfect, pure and innocent not like me an already used up thing by someone else..... she doesn't even deserve his love she thought......so she decided, the only thing she has to do is to stay away from him, to get rid of his life, so that his path will be clear.....
for that only she had used the situation and acted as she's angry. Here after she's gonna cut him off from everything. But Adhira...it can be done little by little, she reassured herself..Getting apart is the only way left and it's the best, so that karthik be able to forget her in course of time and can marry someone else after sometime, the good people around him will make it happen his life wouldn't go of waste. That's what all she could think of as for now.

She took the decision for firm, but she felt completely frustrated after that. Taking decision is too easy in any case, but executing the decision is the worst part ever. There was a big war going inside her about her decision, she was struggling with her inner self which is constantly charging against her. She hated that.....yes, she literally hated herself..... her conscience constantly taunting her for her behavior on that day as well as her plan about staying away from him.

Don't you even think about him, his state of mind after your denial" her conscience snapped at her. She doesn't want to think about it actually she got fear about it, if she thinks about his condition, she would definitely run to him so she purposely avoided that ....'very smart' her conscience remarked.

She tried to convince and reason out , 'my decision is right, how can I marry him after knowing that he is from a prestigious family background?!! Am I even having any rights to feel for him?!! Without any background who am I to marry him, what will happen to his family reputation in society?? How do even people respect the idea of person who is single heir of heritageous family heirarachy marrying a widow that too having a baby?! Is it possible?! how could I face them all ?! What they think about me, don't they say I am after his money, I made some gymnastics to catch hold of a person like him?! There's a big difference between our desires and reality in life.

First you brought marital status, then parental status, now you are bringing up social status.... very good, keep it up... stupid girl....Life is not all about social status, we are not living for other people's opinion...Don't you see all your silly reasons are already ignored by him and his family?! Her inner self debated her.

No, she shook her head and passed over the thought. But her mind is not at all keeping quiet, whenever she's alone, it's throwing queries on her like a supreme Court lawyer. The battle was going on inside her, she becomes always preoccupied with that, making her points clear to justify herself what she's doing was right.

Because of the constant inner war she couldn't concentrate on anything. Everything in life became weird, she feels a constant agitation..... she spent almost all her nights sleepless...if it continues I will become mad she thought.

Finally her subconscious mind came out with the truth...Every girl in her life wants to keep her virginity as a treasure and preserves it exclusively for her Man as a gift... but in my case, I am not pure and innocent anymore... Ramya's thought process undergone dangerously silent.

Do you think he's this much cheap?! Don't you see he is expecting only your heart full of pure love?! Her conscience whispered.

I know that..... it's not about him, it's about me, regarding my guilty conscious....I am a damaged piece.... how could I gift myself to a best person like him?! Once again utter silence...

And regarding love I already surrendered my entire heart to him, he also knew that, isn't it?! Tears, tears, full of tears....

Arguments always lead to nowhere... life has to be felt and lived, can you think of a life without him, then what about Adhira's condition?!! Tears pouring like an incessant rainfall.....Going crazy, Ramya was talking to herself.... but surprisingly after knowing the real reason from her subconscious level, the debate came to an end.



When Adhira asked, have you two fought with each other?! in amused voice, she inhaled deeply and said, "Adhi hereafter you are going to concentrate on your studies, you are having exams know... and regarding Karthik sir, don't disturb him too much, he's very busy you know, let him enjoy his own life okay.....keep that in mind and try to act good girl". Adhira doesn't understand why her mom said so, but she didn't dare to ask further details on seeing her mom's stern face. she realized something happened messy and she prayed God to become everything alright, until then she has to keep quiet and do her exams.

****************

Days keep on passing as it never waits for no one. All of Adhira's exams got over and she felt very bored. She's already dying inside to see her dear KS and wanted to hang out with him but she afraid of Ramya. She texted him without Ramya's knowledge saying exams over, immediately he replied that, "shall we go out?!"

Adhira completed her ice cream and cleaned her mouth, nose and cheeks, all stained with cream by using wipes given by Karthik sitting across to her.

"So what did your mother say?! Karthik asked her knowing sure that Ramya could have said something about their outing.

"Make sure you are returning quickly and keep that in mind I am not going to allow you hereafter frequently, I won't encourage these things" Adhira recollected what Ramya said in her mind, "she said she's going to restrict me hereafter..

That's expected.. Karthik thought. He let out a sigh.

"How was your exams?

"All good" she smiled.

"So what do you want as a gift?!"

"For what?! I don't have my birthday coming and not anything like that", she replied confused.

" I know you are a very good student and going to secure first place in your exams.. well you deserve a very good gift for that, tell me what do you want?! He said with a smile.

She shrugged her shoulders while beaming for his compliment. "You got me everything already toys, gadgets, storybooks, gaming toys what else I need?!"

"Ummm...Anything you wished for long and not accomplished yet, i will get it for you...." He encouraged her as he already planned to give her swimming and skating coaching in this summer vacation, but it won't be possible now, he thought.

" I'm afraid mommy will scold me.."

" No problem... we'll take care of that..."

She placed her index finger on her chin and looked somewhere up as if thinking deeply. Karthik enjoyed looking at her cute gesture.

She came after a minute saying, "I always longed for a dad's love" with sadness in her eyes but quickly it replaced with joy as she's continued "until before I met with you.. after your entry in my life I never feel for that as I am feeling fulfilled now".

Karthik felt a warm feeling at his heart. He very well knew how much it hurts losing a parent at this age. That's one of the very reason why he developed fondness for this cute little angel. He was about to get up with that satisfaction in her voice, then she said,

" But.....I do have a wish now..."

Karthik looking at her silently waiting for her to come out.

After a little hesitation, Adhira started saying, "My friend tanu said they are expecting a baby kid in their family, it's in her mom's tummy, soon she will get a baby boy or girl to play with, she's very proud and eagerly waiting for...all of my friends are having a brother or sister to play with, but I am all alone...I do have my friends, but you know it's very special to have a sibling at your place to chat, share, to play, to enjoy, to fight at times..." She giggled at the imagination and continued, " when my friends share the story about their encounters with their siblings I feel very bad for not having one.... "

"I do know the feeling as I am also a lone kid" he tried to console her.

"But you had chitra aunty know, she said you all used to play together in your childhood..." She winked and He laughed.

"My friends are saying as I don't have my dad living with us, it's never possible to get a sibling hereafter..is it so?! Do we need a dad to get a sibling?! In that case I am having you...." She said continuously without thinking much.

But it's Karthik who is shocked beyond words. It's clearly visible in his face he was too embarrassed to say something. He just stared at her, she's looking nothing but all innocent without knowing the depth of the issue she had just spoken.

It's not quite unusual, sometimes we get caught with the kid's queries and at loss of words not knowing what to say. Karthik took a deep breath " come let's go..." that's what all he managed to say finally.

By looking at his face, Adhira somehow understood that she asked him something weird. On their way home in the car, she asked him " had I said anything wrong?!"

He shook his head as 'No' and smiled at her.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled.

" Never mind kiddo..." He smiled broadly and ruffled her hair to make her easy.

**********

It's only after hearing Adhira's shrieking, Ramya realised she raised her hand against her baby and slapped her hard... she trembled to see her all five finger's impression in red on Adhira's cheek.... how dare she to talk like this... how much it felt awkward for him?!

Adhira shivering in fear and pain, cupped her slapped cheek with her hand, with nose flaring and eyes filled with tears , looked at her mom who is looking at her in anger as well as frustration, the next minute she ran towards the bedroom and locked behind her.

Ramya soon gathered herself and realized her mistake and started chasing her baby calling " adhima....

But she's late, the kid locked the door already.

" Adhi I'm sorry, please open the door...." Ramya pleaded.

" No, I don't...." Adhira shouted back.

" Baby I'm sorry... please forgive me, I never do this again in my life time I promise.... please open the door..."

" No...no...no!!!!!! do you know how much it hurts?! I won't open the door and I'm not gonna talk with you..." She shouted in between sobs.

Ramya standing helpless on the door, it's not her usual behavior, she knew now her baby is so adamant that's because she's forbidding her from her KS and it'll take time to compromise her...

It's all her fault... first of all she shouldn't have sent her along with him. She is just a baby, she doesn't know what to talk and what not to...I shouldn't have hurt her like this, she cursed herself.

Ramya was so curious and restless while she waited for her baby to come back from her outing with Karthik. Unknowingly her heart wanted to know about his status and how was he doing after the meeting. So when she arrived, she asked her how is he and about what happened while trying her voice to look casual. But she never expected Adhira would have asked him such a thing and she on hearing that raised her hand against her baby without any control.....how horrible?! She felt a crushing pain at her heart. Why did I do such a blunder ?! What happened to me?! Why am I acting such a mad now a days?! Have i lost my mind?! this is too much for her to take.....

Oh God...why are you making me suffer like this?! What did I do wrong?! Why all this happening to me?! How am I going to console her?! Ramya lost all her strength, held her forehead in her hand, sitting in the nearby temple.

She came to her senses only when they started closing the temple. She slowly walked and reached her house thinking about her baby. She went straight to the bedroom and found the doors ajar, there's no sign of Adhira. Her heart stopped working, Where's she?! Is she gone out somewhere?! Is she out of home because of rage?! Ramya felt giddy, same time her mobile started ringing.

Only she released her breath she's holding for long after she heard from Krishnan sir, her baby is safe and she's with them. How come she got there?! She had gone to that village all alone herself...her baby went to that extent without her mom's knowledge...is she hate me that much?!

With desperate heart, Ramya locked her house and started walking towards bus stop.

To be continued....

********

Hi friends, all of you asking for a happy ending, don't worry, it is....
Next episode climax...
Once again I thank you all for your continuous support and it really meant a lot to me


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