NEVER LET ME GO
( A story from the book : Just One More Button Down by Kajal Mehta)
The door bell rang and Raj got up from his favorite bean bag to attend the door. It was the usual time of Anita, and expectations of her arrival made him smile. Anita looked after his house and she was on leave for 4 days. He put his best efforts to keep the house clean and arranged. He never liked his books and things scattered and dusty. He opened the door with a smile to hand over the house to Anita, His smile got broader even though it was not Anita at door; it was Ruju.
“May I come in?” She asked. He smiled back and opened the door for her. He was as subtle and calm as Ruju thought of. Raj is a man of few words. One can look into his deep eyes but barely could read anything unless he decides to open a chapter or two. Being calm is his winning weapon. He wins people wherever he goes. A tall fair man with good built, good features, and well groomed appearance is how Raj is seen to the world. But in addition to that he is a stronger brain, a soul on fire and a mellow heart for Ruju.
Ruju walked behind him and decided to seat on the bean bag in a corner. This deep blue colored bag with paisley print was a perfect match to the white walls of the house. A very soothing house was kept as white as possible. Marble flooring, walls, curtains, sofas, table top, fans and few artifacts too wore colour of calm. Spotless everything was a sign that the house was maintained well with attention and efforts. White marble on a winter morning passed shiver chills through Ruju’s body.
“You will love white forever right?”
“Yes…” Raj responded with a tiny smile.
Silence was building up again and Raj broke it.
“Would you like to have some coffee? I was just about to make mine.”
“O.K. Ruju wanted to make it for both of them, but she resisted. While Raj got busy in the kitchen, she moved towards his library. 3/4 books were marked with book marks, which forced a smile on her face.
“Raj do you read 3/4 books simultaneously?” She wondered how he managed not to get confused between all different subjects.
“Hum.” Raj replied. She knew it was his way of agreement.
Raj looked at her over his shoulders and struggled over how much sugar and which mugs he should choose to pour the coffee in. Ruju is medium built, bit healthy and a dusky woman. There is nothing prominently charming about her but there was something about her that made Raj’s eyes to look at her again and again.
Raj placed a tray with two mugs of coffee on white table top. “What brings you here Ruju?” Ruju couldn’t face him and tried stealing the look. “I need your help. I could have called you too, but I thought meeting can lead to a better communication.” She said.
“Tell me what is it? What can I do for you? You know that I will do my best. I hope for nothing serious.” Raj was most vocal and that let Ruju sense how protective he became listening word ‘HELP’.
“My landlord wants me to vacant my apartment with immediate effect. The society has decided not to let the apartments to singles; specially a single woman. After lots of pleading and arguments he has agreed for 10 days. I tried my ways to convince the society people but went in vain. I tried looking for alternates but couldn’t find anything suiting my budget and allowing me to stay as a single woman.
He looked amazingly charming in white kurta payjama. His calm expressions and a thin line of smile on his face added so much to his charms. Furious Ruju wanted to go and kiss him so deep to reach his soul and suck all the patience that he had. She knew that just one kiss will solve many problems – at least she will feel so.
“Can I please kiss you Raj?” She couldn’t say this loud but she blushed.
“Bloody this bunch of stupid people decided something overnight and here I am; a shelter less woman. Raj I need to find out a new house ASAP. I already have wasted a week. I will have to vacant that place in 3 days. If I shift to hotel that will eat funds out of the chunk I have saved for deposit and furnishing of the new place. I don’t know what I am I going to do now?” Her body shivered out of anger and fear.
“What can I do for you Ruju?” Raj continued being a man of matter of fact. Elaboration was not his style and comfort. Ruju had one more challenge; to deal with these few words. Will he ever learn to speak his heart and mind out? Why wouldn’t he let anyone to look inside him? How deep I need to dig into his heart to find my place there?
“Ruju, if you want I can pay your hotel stay, if you want you can stay here, I will shift somewhere else.” “We - together?” Ruju looked straight in to his eyes with a very sharp question raised. He looked away and pretended to be arranging his books as efforts to not to face her at all.
“I said I will shift, until you find something. It’s completely your choice. If you have any other solutions tell me. I have shared what came to my mind instantly.” Ruju felt his voice shaking, but he turned back wearing his calmness. “I will help you find you a home too Ruju.”
“House Raj house….there is no home for me.” Raj’s stone face didn’t change following Ruju’s fury.
“You shift here and stay until we make some other arrangements. Don’t worry; I will pre pone my travel schedule. You will not have to face the odds of my presence. I have some appointments to keep, I will have to go and get ready now. Keep your luggage ready, I will pick you up tomorrow morning.” Ruju smiled and started walking towards the door. She wanted him to hug her and tell that everything will be all right; so did Raj. But neither had she asked for it, nor did he give.
Next day Ruju shifted to Raj’s place and Raj left for his travel schedule same evening just as he had promised. Being away he continued finding a new stay arrangement for Ruju. She also continued her efforts. Finally she liked an apartment fitting in to all the criteria. She would be able to shift whenever she wanted to. She informed Raj about and decided to let him come back, before she shifted. The day came. Raj reached back home early morning; Ruju was deep in sleep. Raj entered home to notice all her bags parked in every corner of the hall area of the house. He could not stop his smile by looking at those cartoon stickers on her bags. Colorful ribbons and flowers made with those were hanging on many hand bags. He sat on the sofa looking at the closed door of the room she was sleeping in.
This door will open anytime soon and she will go. She will leave him, and this house and go. He wished if he could wake up next morning to know that that she had already left. He didn’t want to face a good bye. He woke up and to his surprise Ruju’s bags still occupied each corner of the room. He lost his balance hooked in a ribbon hanging on one of her bags. A wave of irritation hit him. “Will you ever change Ruju?” His volume was raised.
“No; I will not.” She got irate over Raj’s reaction. She was about to leave and what all mattered to him was his discomforts about her scattered stuff. Raj walked towards the bathroom as Ruju approached kitchen to make coffee for them. She could not sleep whole night, knowing that next morning she will have to leave that house, these white walls, cool marble floors and soothing calmness of Raj,. She wanted to stop time and knew that she could never. She looked around the whole house with blurred vision.
She waited for Raj to join for the coffee. The last few minutes of conversation with this man and she did not want to spoil it. Raj walked out of bathroom; he looked dashing in white kurta payjama. Hair on his chest peeped from the open buttons of his kurta. Even in the moments of fury, fear, stress and pain she couldn’t stop admiring his charms. He looked at her and his looks made her feel guilty about what she was cherishing. Raj smiled at her and picked up his coffee mug.
“Do you want help to set up new place?” Raj wanted to make sure that she was all comfortable and safe where she was moving.
“Not really. It’s ok Raj. I will manage. I think I shall move now. I have called the cab.” She choked and could not sip more coffee. She picked up some bags and hung them on shoulders. Burdened more with a heavy heart than body she dragged herself towards an elevator. She arranged her stuff in the cab and moved upstairs to pick up remaining bags and to bid a good bye to Raj.
Raj was holding few bags in his hands.
“Thank you Raj for your support.” Ruju had a heart filled with turmoil of emotions but she chose the safest words to not to get emotional.
“Don’t be formal Ruju, you know you don’t need to thank.”
“O.K. I shall move now. You will get late for your work, if I eat away much of your time” She grabbed bags from Raj, turned back and moved on.
“RUJU….” Raj called her name loud, as she would have walked some steps. He almost screamed.
Ruju threw all the bags on the floor, turned back and ran towards Raj. Raj grabbed her in his arms. They kissed and kissed. Ruju could reach deep down to his mellow heart and calm soul. She cried out all her fear and pain. Raj continued absorbing her in him to never let her go.
“Can we redo our marriage? Can we please undo our divorce Raj? Can we stay together forever? Will you hold me like this forever and never let me go?”
“Hum…” Said Raj kissing her madly.
***
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Just One More Button Down by Kajal Mehta
