Hansika saw a new face, a young lady, standing against the wall of the lift casually checking her phone and humming a song softly. Hansika did’nt know her and assumed that she was a visitor to one of the flats in the society.,
The lift stopped on the third floor and Hansika opened the sliding door,. As she was preparing to shut the door , the visitor suddenly looked up and smiled at her ,
Is this the third floor?
Yes.,
Oh my God I am sorry; I have to get out here. Sorry for holding you up. She took hold of the lift door and stepped out and closed the door.,
Hansika started for her flat and the young Lady was looking around for the flat numbers. Stopping in the door of her flat ,Hansika asked her, which flat are you looking for?
She smiled and said ,”well the flat no is A 304, hmm it seems your next door flat is 304, right.,?”
Right. OK I am Hansika, and the next door flat is empty, may be you are looking to rent it.,Ms…
You can call me Ruhi, I am from Mumbai and my Hubby just got transferred here. My husband will join me soon., My broker was to be here, before me. Let me call him up. Thanks Hansika.,
Oh, why don’t you come inside.,
Sure, I will just come in after calling this idiot.,
Hansika went inside and gathered odd things lying on the sofa so that the room could be presentable., She was staying with her husband, a three year old daughter and her in laws.,
Her husband, Mayank was working with a Pvt company and her daughter had just started going to the play group., her father in law was a retired govt. employee and mother in law had been a house wife all her life. She had one sister in law who was in Delhi, married and working there.,
Hansika herself was a house wife.,
Just then Ruhi entered the house and called out loudly, Hi Hansika, anybody home?
Hansika was inside the kitchen cleaning the platform and sprucing up the kitchen.
Please come in and make yourself comfortable.,
Hansika, that idiot of a broker will be an hour late, so I thought whether I can come back again later or I can sit here and eat your head off? What would you prefer?
Well, I think you can stay back here and eat something better than my head, what say?
Hansika had an infectious laugh.,
Ok, as you say. I am bindaas, so no formalities for me.,
With that Ruhi settled down in the sofa and closed her eyes for a while.
Hansika went inside and brought two glasses of water.
Ruhi took the glass and said,why don’t you also sit down with me.
No, Ruhi, my In laws are expected any moment from their evening walk and Mayank, my husband will also be home by 8 PM, so I have to cook up the dinner and my little darling has gone downstairs to play. She will also be coming home, totally famished after her games.,
Oh is she the one? Ruhi pointed at a large size portrait of a little cute girl.
Yes, she is my darling Misha., She is in the play group just across the road, and within next two years she will be attending regular school.,
By the way, what about you?
Nothing, what about me? Ruhi counter questioned her, smilingly.
Hansika started blustering, No I meant that what about your family…
Oh I am just bossing around. I have only my husband, Vismit, who is working with an IT company and has been transferred here to start up the local branch operations. I will be joining a local company here, as I am well qualified and can also work from home.,
And your children..
No we don’t have any children, and before you heave a sigh, let me tell you, we have decided not to have any kids. There are various reasons, but nothing medical about it. So don’t worry and pity any of us. Right, so Hansika you can carry on, I will be fine on this soft sofa. And I don’t need anything, right, With that she stood up and lovingly pushed Hansika towards the kitchen.
Hansika was not used to such, in the face, kind of attitude and felt herself being conscious.,
But she was happy that she would get a neighbour who was exactly opposite to her. She could never be such bold and clear about her needs and wants. She always accepted what the family decided as a majority.,
She was in her thoughts, and was shaken out of them by Ruhi’s shout. Hansika, that broker has come, I will be back in a minute. Hansika only nodded, and Ruhi breezed out of the house.,
It was full 25 minutes, after which Ruhi came back and she was sweating profusely. Man how hot it is., Really. Hansika, can I have something cold, a soft drink, or anything , which can bring my body temperature down?
Yes sure., Hansika brought a can of pepsi and handed her.,
Hansika, I can see that you are very well established in the role of a housewife and a mother. I don’t know whether I will be able to get into that role or not?
Well, Ruhi, let me tell you it is a difficult task, but then I think we, anyhow have to settle for this. A girls ultimate destination is getting married and having kids and well, if working then, manage both ,house and job, also., Is’nt it?
Hansika, I beg to differ,but well, let me not delay you any longer from your daily pressing chores. I have seen the flat, and it is good, but even if it was not so good, I would still opt for it, just because I would get a lovely, beautiful and charming neighbor, Right?
Hansika blushed, and Ruhi could not stop herself from commenting,” Hansika, don’t blush as if I have made a sexy comment, just keep this expression in your bedroom tonight and well you may be rewarded with - you know what.” With that Ruhi rushed down the flight of stairs, leaving behind a smiling, Hansika.,
Hansika went inside the kitchen to prepare dinner, and her mind was racing at the speed of a car , Ruhi was a wonderful lady, very clear, very bold and someone who knew her role very clearly. There was no area where she would stumble.
Hansika, was the elder of her two sisters and one brother, in her family. Hers was a middle class family, and well, she and her family lived within their means , but she was never deprived of the basic necessities of life. She took upon herself to be the provider of her family, once her father retired, when she was in her final year of college, and her siblings were still in different stages of school., Fortunately for her, she was selected as a bride during one of their family functions, and she got married within two years of leaving her college. Here, Mayank was a nice husband, but everyone in the family was very quiet and spoke only if really necessary. She loved to talk, listen and engage in conversations on various topics, but slowly she had adjusted herself in the present environment. There was nothing to complain about, but sometimes she felt that, she worked hard to please everyone and match everyone’s moods., What about her mood? well, may be that was taken for granted., She ran her hand over her face and got back to her daily grind.,
A week later, Ruhi shifted with her baggage and settled herself in the next door flat. Her husband had gone on a company training program, and was expected a week later.,
The little girl ,Misha ,so easily mixed with Ruhi that most of the time she was with Ruhi than with Hansika. Even Hansika’s in laws were very surprised as to, how come, such a joyuous girl like Ruhi did not want to have kids. They always wanted to ask her, but Hansika did not allow them to ask her, as she remembered her first meeting when Ruhi had explained that it was their own choice not to have kids.,
One afternoon on a Sunday, both the families were having lunch at Hansika’s house, when Mayank slowly broached the subject of kids.,
Vismit, why don’t you also think about starting a family?
Well, I do have a family, myself, my wife, my parents, in laws, what else do I want?
Well, you should have kids, they give you so much pleasure, a fulfillment in life, a joy that you can never experience with other’s kids. What say, Hansika?
Hasnsika knew very well, that Ruhi and Vismit were very firm in their decision, and it must have been a very definite decision. So she just nodded her head, and excused herself.,
Ruhi was observing that everyone in the room was silent, and expecting Vismit to say something, a clarification, an explanation on not having kids.,
She stood up and went to seat herself on a chair near the sofa.
Well, folks, I understand your predicament, your curiosity to know why , we both , a healthy couple, do not wish to have kids. I would’nt have cared to explain anything to any body, but since you have been very good neighbours and a great support to us in this new city, I feel that I can share my, our thoughts without the fear of being judged., But let me add, I do not have any issue on being judged by anyone, as for me, my views and Vismit’s understanding is the biggest factor in taking any decision, which we feel will be in the best interest of both of us.
We have spent almost five years together and fortunately have bonded well., The initiation had come, surprisingly, from my side. Although I, like, other girls, was always conditioned to be a wife and a mother. Playing with dolls, playing house house, always made me want to have babies whom I could feel and love. But some where in my 15th year, I realized that a girl child is not safe in any circumstances. For that matter, even a boy child had so many difficulties to face.,
Today, just for a second, please visualize the life of a child, a girl child or a boy child.,
Just when it is 3 years old, he is packed off to a play group. Now, the school bus, school van, in which he goes to school, is it safe, the teacher who takes care in the school, the ayah, the watchman, the peon, don’t they have the liberty to misbehave with our child/
If you keep the child in a crèche, is it safe/
There are so many instances wherein, the child is physically abused by an outsider. A few years back there was an attack on a school in Pakistan. Imagine what would have been the mental state of the parents., Why are we trying to have children when we cannot guarantee them a secure future., There are now adyas, more Instaces, wherein, a known person/a perform from the family abuses our own child., Every girl or a boy would have their own horror stories, about how they were groped, felt ,and abused during Family functions and get togathers.,You would argue with me that Life is unpredictable, so do you stop living?
My dear sir., if your children have been lucky to grow up without any physical or mental scars on their psyche, do you think everyone is so lucky., or for that matter, I have been posing this simple question to everyone I meet, Why do you wish to have kids?
The normal answers are , for satisfaction, for a complete life.,A woman is not complete unless she becomes a mother, or for furthering the family name,etc., So, if you analyze then it is only for our own selfish motives, we want to have kids, but can you imagine the burden the kids have to carry through out their life?
My observation is that once a kid is six months old, the love, affection and care, is slowly replaced with complaints, varying in nature as the child grows up. From not allowing to sleep in the night, to wasting money on gadgets. Complaints and complaints. And on top of it, the parents at some point of their frustration would always utter these famous words, “do you realize how much we have sacrificed for you? And more of it.”
But when, in the first place, You wanted to have kids, You wanted to feel completeness in life, You wanted to further Your family’s name, You, and only You wanted everything, and not the kids, then why blame the kids for anything., You did for the kids so that You don’t come to shame, so that You have a peaceful life, so that You can take pride in telling others, see what he is today, is because of Me., So it is either You or Me, where does the kid fit into all of this, Your ego scaling?
So Uncle, please forgive me, but the world is not safe for me or for the kids. Those who are already here will definitely play their roles and leave, but those who are yet to be born, atleast spare them the misery and horror of this so called developed society. Today every person is a potential trouble maker, who just needs a reason to either show his supremacy or vent his frustration at you., Everyone is looking at a weaker person down the human chain to express his dominance.,
So, we decided together that come what may, we will not provide one more life to these parasites, who are everywhere in the society.
Please don’t confuse us to be selfish., No we are not selfish, but we believe that we have found ourselves good partners, so let us enjoy our lives, as we want to. We also don’t have any selfish motives for which we need to bring a child on this earth. Whether he will take care of us in the old age, whether he will provide for us ,give us respect, and so on.,
Turning to Hansika’s mother in Law,she said,”Aunty,just give a thought, today, the living cost is so hight, that ,normally both the couples have to work to be able to provide the family with the basic luxuries, so what happens to the child? It is always at the mercy of either ayahs, playgroup teachers, school teachers, school bus drivers, watchman, etc., Where is the security, the safety of his life? Can you be with him for 24 hours? What is the guarantee that he will not be molested, ill treated, abused, or fall in bad company?
So, , we decided that let us live our own life and not try our hand at become parents, with a guinea pig named , babies.,
Can you tell me , would you go to a Doctor, who has not studied medicine, or get a house built by a person who has not studied civil engg, To be a Doctor, you need to study medicine, to be an engineer you need to study engineering, and here, with no qualification or experience what so ever, two individuals, trying their hand at being a parent? Trying to shape a tiny child’s future, when they themselves are not sure whether they would be able to handle a child or not?
I would like to conclude that having a child is more dangerous for the child himself, because today the world is not at all safe., yes, if I go onto a public platform, most of the people would lambast me for having such thoughts about marriage and reproduction, but I am very firm, there is no safety, there is no security and there is no future for the numerous children born every second, every minute, who are brought into this world, just to satisfy two consenting adults whims and fancy.,
Just ask a mother, whose three year old daughter has been molested and raped, just ask a mother whose five year old boy has been kidnapped for ransom and killed mercilessly, just ask those rag picker children who toil daylong in the dump yards, just ask the tenth standard school going girl, how she feels when she is elbowed daily in the crowded bus , and just ask a 17 year old college going girl how she feels when she is x-rayed shamelessly, passing through groups and groups of boys and lecherous men., The mother of a boy who has committed suicide because the parents couldn’t afford college fees, or the boy who did not do well in the exams, or the parents whose children have cheated them in every possible way., Who is happy? The parents, the children, the so called society, My foot.
These are my views and I stand by them, as I feel I have taken the right decision., I am neither a coward nor an escapist., but I can’t convince myself that the world is safe for the unborn generation.,
She looked squarely at all of them, and behind all the occupants stood a crying & smiling Hansika with a thumbs up sign, conveying a thousand words of approval. Ruhi smiled at her and slightly tilted her head and blinked her eyes. She knew she was right.,
Parag
