CHAPTER ONE : THE WEIGHT OF SILENCE
I still remember the day I realized my desire for her was a sin that could destroy everything. She was standing in our backyard,the sun setting behind her, highlighting the curves of her figure in a way that made my breath catch. My father's wife,Ellis. The moment I felt of my secret,like a shadow growing inside me.
At thirty years of age,I was stuck in a loop working as a model since I was fifteen and boosting my father's companies. My mother died when I was young due to cancer. Ellis found us when I was eighteen,she was a child herself only fifteen years old,a product of early marriages. My father didn't care as long as her face was covered with enough make-up to look older. Everytime I saw her my heart raced,my mind battling what I could never control,I was against the marriage but money rules overall. She wasn't a gold digger just someone sold into this mess.
"Avery,your dad called said we're late for the party" Arden said.
We arrived at my home. The party was a small celebration of the companies success and my father would be handing it down to me. I sometimes imagined Ellis by my side during this occasion celebrating with me as my wife and not mother. I stepped inside at the first glance I saw her,she wore a black glittery dress that hugged her body in perfection,not too much make-up and she was stunning. I breathed out heavily,the way she smiled,carried herself tonight made me lose my mind. I grabbed a bottle of vodka and chugged it on the porch.
"C'mon Avery your father won't be proud seeing you drunk tonight" August said. Another one of my best friends besides Arden was August. We called each other the A team, we'd been inseparable since we were kids and we just took each other as brothers.
"You know I can't face El......."
"Hey you. Your father is waiting for you inside" Ellis said smiling at me. She grabbed my hand and I completely lost it. As we both stood besides my dad she didn't let go of my hand. I looked at her,from this close I could smell her scent, breathtaking, controlling me. She'd scratches on her neck that she'd applied make-up to cover them up,I knew my dad was hitting her I heard them everytime I wished she'd once come to cry to me.
"And now as a forever gift for my one and only son to keep him happy and his future family I leave my oil companies to him" Jordan,my father,said and people clapped. I was taken aback as Ellis let go of my hand and clapped too. I walked onto the stage and received the papers,signed and posed for pictures but my whole attention was on her.
"What do you leave for Ellis then?" I said in low voice,kinda like mumbling.
"What?" Jordan's face was puzzled. I'd talked in the microphone and every laughter turned into whispers now.
"Is she even included in your will" I turned to my father seeing the anger fuel in his face.
"You must be drunk or on drugs. I knew this was a bad idea" he stormed off stage and begun walking towards her.
"Babe will you just cool down" Ellis said trying to touch him. She pushed her hand away causing her to fall and left. And in all that she still carried herself grace fully and followed him.
"And what was that about?" Arden asked .
"It's not that I like her. I was just bored. Or maybe drunk" I shrugged as I sat down.
"Yeah you don't like her" both Arden and August laughed.
"What's that supposed to be?" I said
"We've seen how you drool over her. You're in love with your stepmom" August laughed even harder. I brushed it off but it remained in me all night. As the party ended and the night falled deep I heard her soft cries and voice apologizing quietly. I pressed my head deep in the pillow,closed my eyes then said, "as long as you've no child with him, you'll be mine Ellis ".
The sun hit directly in my eyes and I frowned, "another morning",I muttered as I searched for my sandals and headed to the kitchen. All I wanted this morning was something strong to make me forget what I'd done last night,that something was my special water,a mixture of different bottles of vodka in my water bottle which makes a lot think I'm just obsessed with water or something.
"Isn't it too early to be drinking?"
I shrieked.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you". Behind me was Ellis in her night gown. Something short and revealing with her messy bun and lazy eyes I found myself staring hard.
"You didn't scare me". I was panicking. "Ummmm where's Pop's". I asked as I shifted my gaze.
She stood in front of me,I chugged my drink, "he went out said something about golf". She took my bottle from me. "I'm making breakfast,do you want anything specific?".
"I will just eat out". I freaked out and left. The whole pictures run through my head,she was there I could've had her but she wasn't mine and being with her was off limits,illegal besides she saw me as her son and has never made a pass at me. I drove to a nearby cafe and ordered breakfast as I tried to relax.
"Hey you".
"El....". I turned to see my girlfriend Rita who was already throwing arms at me. Rita and I have been seeing each other since my modeling career. She was smart successful beautiful and I really did love her but something about Ellis surpassed the love I had for Rita. I didn't know what that was but I preferred Ellis over Rita. She sat across me and took out two gift boxes. "What's this?".
"Well I didn't make it to your party and today is our four year anniversary so I got you two gifts" she said smiling. "You did get me something right?".
One difference about Rita was she knew her way around a man, financially I mean,all her exes where either billionaires or princes everyone good who earns more than her. The love was there but without the money she'd be gone in seconds. "I didn't forget just give me a few hours to work on something" I lied.
"Well I was thinking we change some of your dad's companies names into something suitable for the both of us........"
She kept talking but my mind had shifted to Ellis who'd walked in with Renee her best friend. She was sitted at the counter laughing and just perfect.
"Rita how about I meet you later. I've this thing I need taken care of". I brushed her off quickly and went towards Ellis then Jordan came in. He furiously sat down and squeezed.
"You do not go out without my permission,you're my property" Jordan said aggressively.
"We where just catching up" Renee pitched in trying to lighten the mood and not raise suspicions among on lookers.
"You can always find her at home" he yanked her up.
"Dad we're in public " I said holding Ellis's other hand. He let go and left.
"I should go after him" Ellis grabbed her purse and ran after him quickly.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you like her" Renee said smirking.
"What?no. I just didn't want any commotions" I laughed nervously.
"I've seen how you look at her but hey you don't like her" she laughed as she walked away.
Was it that obvious? All these years of hiding my feelings and I let them show now. My mind raced. What if my heart couldn't take it anymore and I slip for good? Will I be able to explain that?
