My Life At 64.
It had been 3 years that I had retired from my job. I had been living with my son’s family till a recent period. My son at first welcomed me warmly in his house. The reason was that I had been receiving a good amount of pension every month. This supplemented his family income and helped them to increase their standard of living. But after I stopped receiving the pension my son gave me such a lame reason not to have me in the house that I felt like laughing at him. He said, “Dad as you know that the country has been hit by recession again, I have lost my job, so I won’t be able to support you along with my own family. (Actually at that time the country was economically stable, such that its employment rate was increasing).
I didn’t say anything. I left the house with all my belongings and went to one of my old friend’s house, who also was living alone. He was first of all surprised to see me. He later said,” I thought you were dead. Where were you? No contact, nothing?” I in reply said to him “Well I was staying with my son’s family. By the way do you know he is the only working man who has been hit by recession in this country?”
We laughed; we partied (yes at 63 we partied). We enjoyed to the fullest. We enjoyed every moment of our lives like we did in our teens. By God’s grace I was just the same as I was in my mid-twenties……fit, athletic, (well I had to be fit. My job demanded it, so I used to do push-ups and jogging and all). One day I went to the nearby park to take a walk. And then it happened. What happened was like a spell on me. I saw my school’s best friend. Natasha Agarwal was her name. She and I went to the same school and college but we didn’t get married (why we didn’t get married is another story). She got married to another guy who was a software engineer. He had died a few years back and she was living with her sister, but left her house a few months ago. I saw her sitting on a bench, knitting. At first I was hesitating to go up to her as I was feeling that I had mistaken someone else to be her, but I got up from my place and went and sat next to her.(I took a glimpse of her and confirmed that she was Natasha Agarwal.) She didn’t notice me. I asked her what the time was (although I had a watch). She turned and was like annoyed or something. She said, “Avinash………. you haven’t changed. You are the only one who has this habit of having a watch and in order to start a conversation with a girl you ask her the time. Come on change now, this is all old. “. I didn’t follow to what she said; I was just looking at her thinking how she had managed to stay the way she was in school….just beautiful. Then she said, “Hey are you even listening to me?” I came back to my senses and said “Oh uh, yes I can’t change myself you know, I am what I am”. I saw that she was happy on seeing me after such a long time. We then talked about our lives and how the time had changed and all that type of things. Then we went our ways.
We met again the next day and chatted for a while. This now became a daily routine for me (and maybe for her too). This continued for one whole year. My friend with whom I was living one day said to me, “Dude what’s going on???? Are you like…… falling in love with her again, huh?” I replied, “What do you mean???? Are you like nuts or what? And by the way when did I previously fell in love with her? Do you think that a person like me can fall in love with someone at the age of 63????” After a few seconds he replied, “Oh come on now don’t pretend…….”
I don’t know what he was saying but I know one thing for sure…what he was saying was crap. I mean like how can a person (and that to like me) can fall in love at 63 years of age?
It was 1st march, my birthday. My pal wished me and so did Natasha. She asked me to meet her at 5 o’clock in the evening at SomePlace Else. This was the same place where we both used to go when we were in school. I wore the best of my clothes and set out. I reached at 5:20……….she had already reached and was waiting for me. When she saw me, she said, “You will not change….even now you don’t arrive on time.” I held my ears and started to do sit-ups, on seeing me do this she smiled and pulled me. We then went in. I was surprised to see the interiors. Man it had changed completely. Soft music, dim lighting and all. It had also become more expensive. We chose a table and went up to it. We ordered cold coffee first.
I then saw her attire. A blue saaree with a necklace studded with green beads. Her hair tied to a bun. I said to myself, “Women….they can just mix any fashion accessory and look beautiful”. I wanted to start chatting but as soon as I was about to open my mouth she said, “Remember the time when you were about to propose to me?” I was like how did you get to know and I even said this. “You don’t have to bother about it….well I am thinking of fulfilling your wish.” I was dumbstruck. I said to her “Miss Natasha did you just say that?” “Yes” was her reply. I was completely shocked. On seeing me in that state she said, “I thought over the thing….you and me being together……. and I felt it was quite a nice idea. I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you?” I didn’t reply, “…Answer to my question, where had you been all my life, meeting me at 64 huh?” I was like ok this is happening to me, the girl towards whom I was attracted in school is now proposing to me. After 2 seconds I replied, “Ok I will spend the rest of my life with you, in fact I would love to do so …but I have some conditions. They are as follows:
1) I can’t take you shopping everyday.
2) I can not afford to buy you jewellery every month
AND
3) I can’t stop loving you every second of my life. If you agree to this, I am all yours”. What she replied was something like this, “Ok I agree to it…..” I received my birthday gift….the company of the girl whom I was attracted to in school.
I reached home after celebrating my best birthday ever with my would-be wife (whom I would be marrying maybe day after tomorrow). My friend said to me, “Hey wassup??? What happened? Why are you so happy?” I didn’t say anything; I went straight to my room and jumped on to the bed. I said to myself,” Man your life has started at 64 and it will be the best part of your life now”.
I then went to sleep, waiting for the next day to start so that I may start my life afresh at 64………..
Letters.
“To have loved you was perhaps the greatest thing I ever did. Never did I complain when you ignored me or talked rudely. At times your calls were the only thing I waited for, yet you never had the time. Though I have never had had much I gave you what was mine. It nearly killed me when I saw you holding that boy’s hand, something you had stopped doing with me since a long time. I know I had said that I will stay with you forever but my mind now tells me one thing and the heart another. Sorry if I ever let you down...this is the last time you will hear from me for I will be gone. Gone to a place where I would never want you to come.....” ----------------X-------------------
“You were the most beautiful thing that happened to me. I know for the past few months I have been acting different and it hurts me more than it hurts you. The love you gave me I will always cherish. You have no idea how hard it was for me to ignore you but I had to do it. The reason behind it, if we meet again I will surely say. That boy you saw me holding hands with was only a friend. You were never an option for me, you were always a priority. On a funnier note thank you for always telling me that I looked beautiful even without makeup. Sorry if I ever let you down...this is the last time you will hear from me for I will be gone. Gone to a place where I would never want you to come.....”
--------------X---------------
The two suicide notes ended with the same lines....their love had only experienced a minor disturbance......
