...Forced by Circumstances...
Ever since we started getting free periods, I had begun spending my time in the library. I would sit there with a few of my new friends. Whenever Rizwan came over to talk to me, I would make up some excuse and quietly leave. Before long, more than half of my school day was spent in the library.
Eventually, Rizwan grew irritated by my behavior and stopped trying to talk to me. To make things worse, Musk kept filling his ears against my new friends.
Out of jealousy, I even made a few male friends. There was a time when only one boy had been my best friend, but now I had several boys in my friend circle. Rizwan clearly didn't like that, but this time I had decided to live life on my own terms.
Every time I saw Rizwan, it felt as though I lived and died a hundred times in a single moment. But that stubborn fool had no idea what I was going through.
One day after class, Rizwan came to me.
Rizwan: "Why are you upset with me? Tell me the reason."
I refused to answer.
After waiting for a while, he sighed.
Rizwan: "Fine. If you won't tell me, then don't ever talk to me again."
The moment those words left his mouth, my eyes filled with tears.
Rizvi: "Please... don't ever say something like that again."
I made him promise never to repeat those words.
But Rizwan wouldn't let the matter go.
Rizwan: "Then tell me what's really bothering you."
Cornered by his insistence, I finally confessed the feelings I had been hiding in my heart for so long.
For a few moments...
Silence.
Rizwan didn't say a single word.
No matter how many times I asked him something, he simply stood there, speechless.
Finally, gathering every bit of courage I had, I asked the question that had been haunting me.
Rizvi: "Do you... love Musk?"
I took a deep breath.
Rizvi: "If that's true, tell me now. I promise I'll never stand in your way again."
Rizwan stared straight into my eyes, anger flashing across his face.
Rizwan: "What nonsense are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?"
With a shattered heart, I forced a smile.
Rizvi: "Maybe... but if it's true, I'll step aside myself."
Before I could say another word, Rizwan gently placed his finger on my lips.
Rizwan: "Shh... enough. Don't say another word."
He looked at me with disappointment.
Rizwan: "Just because I'm not saying anything doesn't mean you can say whatever comes to your mind. I know your feelings are hurt... but you've known me since childhood. You know better than anyone what matters most to me."
I smiled faintly.
Rizvi: "You're... not angry with me, are you?"
He let out a helpless sigh.
Rizwan: "I am angry... and very angry."
Embarrassed, I held my ears and apologized.
Luckily, he forgave me.
But curiosity still wouldn't leave me alone.
Rizvi: "Then tell me... what is it? And please answer my question."
Rizwan looked away for a moment before speaking.
Rizwan: "Listen... there's nothing between Musk and me. Nothing at all. You're imagining things. And... I need some time to think about everything."
Relieved, I smiled.
Rizvi: "That's okay. Take all the time you need... but promise me you'll give me an answer."
He nodded.
Rizwan: "Hmm."
Then he spoke in a serious tone.
Rizwan: "And until then, let's not talk about this anymore. Focus on your studies, okay? I don't want to hear another word about it."
That evening, Rizwan dropped me home before leaving for his own house.
Only fifteen days were left before our Class 10 final examinations. Revision classes were in full swing, teachers were busy preparing everyone for the exams, and every student had become serious about studying.
But ever since Rizwan found out about my feelings, everything had changed.
He kept his distance from me.
He no longer came to sit beside me.
Most of the day, Musk would be with him.
Half of my worries were because of Rizwan, and because of that, my test scores started dropping.
The final examination was scheduled for the very next day.
School had declared a holiday so everyone could study at home.
But fate had other plans.
That afternoon, I suddenly fell seriously ill.
My parents were extremely worried because my board exam was just a day away.
Ammi immediately took me to the doctor. She even explained that my final exam was the next morning.
The doctor prescribed some medicines and gave me an injection so I would be fit enough to appear for the exam.
After returning home, I ate something, took my medicines, and sat down to study once again.
While studying...
I don't know when sleep quietly took over.
Then...
I saw Rizwan standing in front of me.
My heart skipped a beat.
I gathered the courage to ask him.
Rizvi: "So... did you think about it?"
He looked unusually quiet.
After a long pause, he finally spoke.
Rizwan: "I think... this is where our friendship ends. Our journey together ends here."
My world froze.
He continued,
Rizwan: "I don't want to get involved in love. I have too many dreams to chase. I have a lot to achieve in my life."
Desperately, I tried to stop him.
Rizvi: "I'm not asking you to marry me right now. We'll get married only when you're ready... whenever you say."
Rizwan lowered his eyes.
Then he uttered the words I feared the most.
Rizwan: "Even then... my answer will be no."
A painful silence filled the air.
He looked straight into my eyes.
Rizwan: "Because... I don't love you."
The words pierced my heart like a knife.
Suddenly—
I woke up with a gasp.
Breathing heavily, I looked around the room like a mad person, desperately searching for Rizwan.
A few seconds later...
Reality finally sank in.
I was still sitting at my study table.
My books were lying open in front of me.
Sometime while studying, I had fallen asleep.
It had all been...
Just a terrible nightmare.
